Absence

Idea 31

Saiyas breath halted. Tonowaris words playing over and over and over again in her head.

"Your baby."
"Your baby."
"Your baby."

Saiya blinked once, twice, three times, sure that if she did it enough she would wake up. But she didn't, her body remained in the position it was with Jake, Neytiri, Ronal, Tsireya and Tonowari all in front of her.

The words registered in her already tense mind, squeezing itself in creating no room for anything else. 'My baby?' Saiya thought to herself, thinking of any reason as to why Tonowari was wrong and how she couldn't have a child inside of her.
Yes her and Neteyam mated many times but she if she was carrying their child she would've known, she was sure of it.

"No." She muttered her voice barely audible.
"Yes Saiya." Ronal began walking towards the girl
"No. No." Saiya whimpered again shaking her head as she stepped back away from the Tsahìk, her back hitting the woven mauri wall. "Saiya." Neytiri spoke, her voice cracking as she yearned to reach out to her, slightly lifting her arm.
"I am not with child, I know that i am not." She cried almost trying to convince herself as her breaths became heavier and ragged.
"Deny it but it is there. Eywa has given you a child." Ronal tried to explain holding onto her own stomach.

"To raise alone? Without a father?" Saiya argued back barely getting the words out as the skin between her eyes wrinkled.

"I am not with child! I cannot do it alone!" She tried to speak again feeling the air being stolen directly from her rapidly. Her chest heaved inconsistently, insufficient breaths dizzying her head.
"Breathe kid." Jake tried to calm down placing his hand on her shoulder.

Her mind immediately went to Neteyams promising words, 'together'. However it was of no use this time as she continued to struggle. Her back scratched against the walls of her mauri as she dragged herself down, Jake following along. Neytiri placed both hands on her head, muttering words to Eywa as another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Syeha sì Saiya." (breathe) Ronal ordered worried for her well being.
Tonowaris face contorted in deep concern as he felt his wifes hand press his shoulder. Her eyes looked towards the door asking him to leave along with his daughter. Tsireya and Tonowari left the mauri leaving only herself, Neytiri and Jake with Saiya.

Ronal with the help of Neytiri also kneeled in front of Saiya who felt as if she was on the brink of passing out. Her hands grabbed hers placing them gently atop her abdomen. She pressed down 'shushing' Saiya as she still cried.
"Listen, listen." She said spreading Saiyas fingers across her own stomach. Saiya unable to concentrate tried to wriggle her fingers free from Tsahìk grip but she couldn't budge.

"Tìng mikyun, rutxe." (Listen, please.) She said again trying to get Saiya to hear. Through the loud banging of her heart and wheezing breaths Saiya managed to hone out the noise and follow Ronals words. She spread her palm and fingers across the soft of her skin, pressing down just enough to hear it, to feel it.
The warm gentle, captivating love that began to trickle out of her towards her baby and the faintest sound of a heartbeat that was intertwined and almost overpowered by her own, but it was there. Saiyas breath pathetically struggled but slowly came to a calm, her eyes closing in a way to gain control over her dynamic vision.

She was carrying her child, carrying Neteyams' child and she almost hurt her body, the vessel carrying and protecting her baby, due to her own selfish desires. Tsireya had warned her to not visit consistently but she didn't listen and she nearly hurt herself and her most importantly her child. The guilt ran rampant in her mind, beating her up inside. Imagine what Neteyam would say.

A fast stream of tears poured down her cheek, wetting the blue flesh. "It's okay." Ronal tried to console even though her own voice cracked in the process. Neytiri and Jake quickly kneeled beside Saiya, engulfing her in a hug all 3 of them desperately needed.
"I am so sorry, I am so so-" Saiya tried to apologise, she wasn't sure if it was to Jake and Neytiri, Herself, Neteyam or her baby, all she knew was she was sorry.