Operation Red Herring (Countryhumans Alternate History)

Chapter 42

TW: Implied/Referenced Racism, Discussion of Suicide, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

The room was dark, but America's mind was ablaze, akin to the fireworks of July 4th, or perhaps Chicago as it was burned to the ground. One, two, three, four. Resist the urge to bang on the door. Ignore how the walls seem to have begun to bleed into the floor. May no mind to the way the darkness swirls, like a wicked version of Van Gogh. Van Gogh had been in a mental institution when he had painted Starry Night. Looking through barred windows and seeing the beauty outside. America would like to think she could make something beautiful out of her captivity, but she knew better. Afterall, she had no window to see the world, and being stuck with herself for months on end was definitely no pretty sight. No, all there was was gray. Gray, gray, gray. Like the beginnings of a slushy winter's day-

-The snow was so cold, and America's hands felt numb. She could see the blood in the snow, could feel every inch of her exposed skin burning from the sheer fridgidness. Valley Forge was a mistake. Leaving was a mistake. This was all a mistake. God, her family hated her now-

Her family hated her, didn't they? They must. She couldn't think of a reason for them not to. Maybe they always had, and had simply hid it. Afterall, she had made herself a necessary ally. Perhaps she had been alone before as well, just unaware of it. Like she had been unaware of everything. Even now, as she plotted, she was unaware. Every thought seemed to be more akin to rambling than a coherent desire-

-"What do you desire?" France asked, discomfort evident in her tone. This was different for them, odd. They were never this rigid with eachother. "For you to not tell."

A cold, sinking feeling entered America's gut. "I-" She stopped, breathed. The air smelled like smoke, like death. War had that effect. "I won't tell. Neither of us have to tell. We could-"

"No we could not." France looked on the verge of tears, "You know we could not."

"We could-" She swallowed, forcing her voice to stop shaking. "We could try."

"Meri, that is-" A sigh. "You know what would happen if we were found out. To even risk it would be insane"-

Was America going insane? She didn't think so. Sure, the room felt suffocating, and her train of thought seemed to be making a habit of crashing, and she kept having random flashes of memories that made her lose focus, and she had no clue how long she had been in the damn room because she hadn't seen the sun since being locked away. She took it for granted before- being able to know when the days end and nights begin. She could pretend that she knew what day it was. Perhaps pretend she could sense it. But she couldn't. She could barely sense anything anymore. Her hunger had long ago faded into a quiet gnawing feeling in her stomach, slowly eating away at her.

She really should eat that damn dog. The one that stood in the corner, barking incessantly. It was chained up, frothing at the mouth with a murderous gleam in its eyes. Every time America noticed it, it barked and snapped. It was quite terrifying to have George the rabid dog added to the ecosystem of the dark room. America thought he might have eaten Jerome. She hadn't seen the rat since she had confronted him about his espionage on the behalf of the Soviet Union. He had denied it, the communist scum, but she knew the truth. She had yelled at him, and then...

...What had she done again? There had been blood. Blood and satisfaction, a metallic taste on her tongue that mixed with the tang of sour meat. Crunch. Crunch. She had thrown something white away, but it was all blurry, unfocused. Like most things were nowadays.

Why was she still here again? Oh right, to get out. Her only reason for continuing on was to give over control of her troops to Canada. As much of a pushover as he was, he was well-intentioned. He would try to fix the mess she had caused, and she would shoot herself. Afterall, the last person left that loved her was now gone. Gone, gone, gone. Off in Heaven with God-