"wouldn't you like to know her?" | ronance !

14.

(CW for mentions of suicide)

robin crossed her arms; glaring at steve.

"i helped you, so are you going to help me?"

"i suppose," he whistled, sorting the completed spanish paper into his binder.

"SPANISH" was written in messy navy blue sharpie across the front of white binder. it was dirty as hell. steve had a family video pin attached to the side, with his home-phone number scribbled under it.

"you suppose?" she repeated incredulously, "knowledge isn't free, harrington. you should be grateful you have such a clever bestfriend," she bluffed, smirking.

he sat down, crossing his legs over one another and leaning back ever so slightly. nancy had left half an hour ago; she had forgotten to call her parents and freaked when she noticed that time had slipped away. according to her, her parents would flip about the fact mike was left unattended.

silently they all knew mike was strong and capable, hell. if last summer didn't prove just that, nothing could.

"i am very thankful," he responded, tone laced with sarcasm, "i don't think i can really help you, robin. you need to figure these things out on your own."

"steve, i don't get it! you're her boyfriend, for christ's sake. you have to know something."

"i... i think she is caught up on old stuff," he started carefully, running his hands through his curled brown hair. "barb-- she was gay."

was. she was. a sharp pain pierced robins abdomen. she clenched her fists together.

"how do you know that?"

"nancy told me. she--" he hesitated, shifting. "you won't tell her about this conversation, right?"

"totally will."

he rolled his eyes, continuing, "she came out to nancy and nancy didn't react too well,"

robin bit her tongue. the memory of nancy pushing her up against the door, then yelling at robin about how much she hated queer people lingered constantly.

"the night barb disappeared-- i was with her. she wouldn't stop crying and telling me how she thought barb killed-- herself," he stammers, choking on the last few words while shifting uncomfortably.

"because nancy..."

"yeah. she-- she didn't. that didn't happen. but nancy just associates gay people with barb, and--"

robin flopped onto her back, emitting a drawn out sigh.

"fuck."

"birdie, nancy really likes you. you've come a long way-"

"i just have to act like we're okay," she breathed; sounding harsher than she intended, "we're not. what she says hurts, you know that?"

steve studied the ground, "i'm sorry. robin?"

"yes?"

"if i'm being honest, we're probably going to break up soon. i'll still hang out with her every now and again, but you won't need to be around her so much afterwards."

"why?" she jumped up, her blue eyes coated with sympathy. for a heartbeat, she felt worried. even if nancy showing immense disapproval for queer people stung like a wasp, robin still desperately wanted to be her friend. something about nancy was fascinating, in a sense she couldn't formulate the words for.

well, she had a crush on nancy. maybe that was why.

robin had a natural predisposition for involving herself in dysfunctional relationships. it's almost like she was born this way.

chasing after a girl who shared a few transient yet vulnerable moments with her wasn't ideal.

nancy wheeler was not an ideal girlfriend.

but she wanted her so bad.

"she told me she missed johnathan."

"you're being played with," she hissed. resentment quickly formed a knot in her stomach.

"no, it's okay. i'd rather her be happy than force a relationship."

"you're too kind to everyone," she whispered. her inital flare of precipitated rage faded.

it was a requisite for robin to develop peace of mind to stop delving into her thoughts. even the slightest hint towards the brunette girl made her heart burn.

steve chuckled, "well... i try. anyways, robin, i think she'll figure things out-- you're not very good at hiding things."

she squinted, "really?"

"definitely-- and, if she says anything mean to you at all, just tell me. okay? you're equally as important to me but i wont just let you get bullied again."

bullied again. again and again and again.

"do you think she'll still be my friend if she figures out?"

"you sure do value your friendship with her a lot," steve commented, "maybe. i couldn't be for sure."

robin let out a soft sigh, processing the prospect that barb mightve killed herself-- mightve. it was unlikely. even steve disagreed.

she clung onto the idea barb escaped. she was free from the grip of hawkins.