Chapter 54

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Sanji finished wiping the last plate with the tea towel. It must have been two or three in the morning, and the birthday party had stopped only a short time before. Nami was the first one with Chopper to call it a night. Everyone had helped Sanji take the plates and glasses back to the kitchen. But he'd finally sent everyone back to sleep when he saw Usopp's half-closed eyes, and the three brothers slept on the floor. He dismissed them all as if they were unclean, leaving him alone in his temple.

Sanji looked out of the window. It was a beautiful, cloudless, full-moon evening, which meant he could see outside without needing any light. He looked out at the garden, where he found a green head contemplating the same sky as himself. He took the time to look at Zoro.

He had eyes absorbed by the universe, lost in his thoughts, his shirt easily let imagine his back so muscular below, his square shoulders were more tense than usual. The man was so beautiful and melancholic at the same time. Sanji put down the last plate and headed to his companion. He sat down beside him, and Zoro did not turn back, keeping his eyes fixed on the sky. But Sanji was not offended. He knew that Zoro had felt his presence. The cook searched his pocket and took out a cigarette, which he took time to light. After his first puff, he looked back at the sky.

"The sky looks beautiful this evening." Sanji stated, but Zoro didn't reply. So, he continued, playing the truth card, his gaze still on the stars. "I didn't know you were that close to Ace. I won't lie to you, I was a little jealous of it. I know I shouldn't, but..."

"Sanji!" Zoro cut his sentence, with seriousness. He looked at Zoro, who used his real name and not a silly nickname. He knew he wouldn't like what was going to happen. He could feel how tense the man was next to him.

"Tell me what's on your mind, mosshead." Sanji said softly the kindest way possible.

"We need to talk about that night." Zoro stated.

He couldn't look at Sanji, or he would lose all his strength. He thought about what Ace did. His brain almost exploded with all this thinking. But all his reflection gave him one answer: he needed to talk with Sanji about that night and do it tonight because he wouldn't have the capacity to come to this strength again. It took him everything to remind himself that evening. So, no, he couldn't look at Sanji. He didn't want Sanji to see how broke he left him, how hurt he made him. He wouldn't let Sanji feel guilty about him. Because that's not what he wanted. He wanted to forget that night and move towards a new future.

"What night?" Sanji looked at him confused.

"That night during the beach holiday. The night before we leave." Zoro whispered, and Sanji tensed. He looked away. He never imagined that was what Zoro wanted to talk about. He was a fool if he thought that was behind them. They never talked about it, and this moment would have come one day or another.

"That night, Sanji, you raped me." Zoro stopped talking. Sanji's heart stopped at the words. He wanted to puck but forced himself to stand there and swallow everything he could feel. He had to let the green-haired man say what he had inside him. He didn't know if he had to talk or if Zoro was waiting for something. He whispered the only words that came to his mind with a broken voice.

"I'm sorry."

But Zoro shook his head. "Please, let me finish because if you interrupted me, I'm not sure that I would be capable of telling all I want."

Sanji took another cigarette out of his pack. Fortunately for him, he just opened a new one. Because he would need a lot of nicotine to help him with the stress of this conversation.

"That night when you raped me. You took a part of me with you. Something that I would never have again. I felt used. I felt like an object. The day before was like paradise. You made me believe that you cared for me. You made me believe that I was important to you, that I could trust you. Sanji, you don't know how hard it is for me to let someone enter my life like you did. Because every time I let someone in, they ended up crashing me and broke me. My adoptive parents did that. He did that. You did that. Everyone does it. If it wasn't for Luffy, I'm not sure if I would still be here on Earth, you know. You became my worst nightmare. I had so many, where I could see us all happy, all loving, and the minutes after, you were telling me those horrible words, you were hurting me. It was so hard, Sanji. Still today, I tried to forget that day. To tell myself that it never happened, that it was just a bad dream. But it did Sanji. It was real, and I had a hole open in my heart that I couldn't close like that." Zoro took his breath again.

The sky was so peaceful compared to all the waves of feelings that the two men felt. Their heart was beating fast, and their hands were shaking. It was a clash of two opposite worlds. Zoro finally turned to look at Sanji. What he saw made his heartbreak into little pieces. He put his hand on Sanji's cheeks and, with his thumb, wiped the tears that flowed. It was the first time that he had seen the cook cry, and he didn't like this view.

"Please don't cry, shitty cook. Don't cry for me."

"How can I not? I'm a monster. I make you go through so much pain. And there's no one day when I don't regret what happened. Oh, Zoro, if you knew how I felt guilty. How sorry I am. Please, Zoro, I'm so sorry. If I could come back to the past, I would erase that day." Sanji said between tears. Zoro placed his forehead on that of the blond.

"I know... Because you changed. You are someone new. You helped me. Give the smile to the boys. And I trust you. You made me believe again in you when I thought I wouldn't have the force in me to give my trust in someone. You gain it. You were there for me, the day my flat burned, the day I stopped eating, and the day of Kuina's anniversary. You will always be there to help me. So, Sanji, please listen to me. That day at the beach house, you broke me. You made me suffer so much; you would never know. But I trust you, you made me change my mind. There is a part of me that still suffers and still is angry at you. But most of my heart focuses on the new Sanji, and he likes what he sees. So, we will have to learn both of us with that day. It won't happen in one day, but little by little, we will have to make peace with that day. We will have to learn together if you're ok with it. But what I want from you, Sanji, is what you promised. Promised me, Sanji, please, that you will never hurt me like that. 'Cause if you do, I wouldn't get up, Sanji. It'll be too hard. I wouldn't have the strength. So, promise me this day will never happen, please." Zoro begged.

Zoro never begged. He is always the man who sacrifices himself, who accepts the general opinion, and puts his desires after everyone. But at that precise moment, under that sky so black and that moon so clear, he had plunged his gaze into Sanji's and begged him like his life was depending on the blond words.

Sanji's heart stopped at this heartbreaking vision of the person he loved. Because yes, now he was sure. He was madly in love with this man. He hated himself for having made him live all his hardships. But never, he would imagine hurting him like that again. He preferred to take his life rather than make the man suffer again.

He planted his intense blue gaze into Zoro's. He grabbed his cheeks with his long fingers. Their forehead still touching.

"I promised you, Zoro, I would never make you go through it again. Trust me, please, Zoro. You became too important to me. I can't imagine losing you again. I lost you once because of my foolishness, and it won't happen again. Because I can't lose you. So, yes, Zoro, I promise." Sanji stated, and Zoro finally let a small smile appear on his face.

"I trust you, then." Zoro replied, relieved.

They both approached their faces, sealing their promise with a passionate kiss under the starry sky.

Hey,

So that was a heavy chapter, and I'm sorry about that. But the conversation was needed.
Being rape is something serious, and we shouldn't romantised it, and that's not what I wanted to do in that story.

But I still want to show that the victim can have a happy life after. It's a lot of hard work and moments going up and down but it's possible!

Amaya 🫶23e

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