Return Of The Outcast

|007| Daddy Issues (Kind of)

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But just because I was suspended didn't mean I was free from work though. So there I was on public transit heading to work at Tim Hortons

As usual, the bus was pretty crowded due to all the students heading home. I was lucky to even find a seat.

Being too tired to carry my head's weight and wanting to be alone. I laid my head on the glass window and stared out of it as if I were in some kind of melodramatic music video. It was a long bus ride anyway so maybe I could just close my eyes for a bit...

Never mind. The constant rattling of the bus made it impossible for anyone to sleep. It felt like my head was being repeatedly bashed by the window. I'm probably going to get a headache from this but whatever, these are the least of my problems.

I wonder if Mama found out about my suspension yet. Kinda hope she did already so I wouldn't have to tell her myself. But either way I'm getting my butt whooped when I get home... Maybe I should ask to work overtime.

I let out a deep sigh as I slumped further into my chair. "This is all Vanessa's fault" I mumbled, kicking the seat in front of me in frustration. If that wicked witch of the West didn't open her mouth to speak about my father, then maybe I wouldn't have whooped her butt.

I mean the audacity of that girl. She knew it was a sensitive subject. She was there when I cried and asked her to keep it a secret. Then she turns around and uses his passing to taunt me in front of the whole class. I know we aren't friends anymore, but that's low, even for her.

I kicked the seat once more.

I was so angry I just wanted to hit someone...but I decided against it. Getting suspended is enough for one day. I'm not trying to end up in jail. So I just sat there trying to calm myself down. Nothing good ever comes from being angry. I already learned that today.

"Happy thoughts" I repeated to myself "think happy thoughts". Come on Mia, think about puppies, Rainbows, and throwing Vanessa in a landfill.

Ugh. This wasn't working. My so-called happy thoughts kept being interrupted by the witch. I know I shouldn't have let her stupid words affect me this much...but I don't know, I Guess It's a wound that hasn't fully healed yet.

It doesn't help that Mama won't even tell me what actually happened to him. During the time of his passing, she kept up the story that he hanged himself. That's even what I told Vanessa.

But then She started changing the story. First, he hanged himself, then she said it was a car accident that killed him, next was a drug overdose, with the latest reason being he died of a heart attack. I know all of the stories she came up with were just lies, especially when they didn't add up and contradicted her other claims. That's why I stopped asking her about him altogether.

I love my mother, and she's a great woman, but sometimes I can't help but feel like she's hiding something. I just wish she'd tell me the truth. The only thing I do know for sure is that he died in the night when I was asleep and right after his death, mama suddenly told me we were moving from America to Canada without any reason. And once again, if I try to ask her about it now, I never get a direct explanation.

Though I'm more curious about the death  of my father. It was like one minute he was there, then the next he wasn't. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I was around five when he died, so I don't have a lot of memories of him, but I still miss him. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if he was still alive. Mama says he was a good man, so I think things would be better for me and her. Then she wouldn't have to work such long hours at the lab to provide for us or be so lonely all the time. I try to be there for her, but I don't think that's enough.

I would see my friends and other people hang out with their dads, bragging about what they got them or all the cool places they took them to. They make it sound so nice to have one, but All I can do is hold on to the hazy memories and pictures I have of him.

"Next stop: Hudson's Street". The automatic speaker on the bus said. That was my stop. I got up to get off.

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~At Tim Hortons~

After switching out my school uniform to a cozy, casual outfit featuring a baggy, light pink open hoodie so it wouldn't get dirty. 

 I put my apron and I headed to the counter where the rest of my coworkers were. I purposely only take afternoon shifts, not only because of school, but it's also way less busy here. Unlike the mornings when it's practically filled to the brim with people trying to get the morning coffees before work

So we usually just lounged around, especially when Linda, our cranky manager, was out. Today was no different

"The wicked witch of the west strikes again and it's worse than ever!" I said, whining and dramatically throwing my arms around Farahana's shoulders. Being my work best friend who I told all my school dreams to, she knew who I was talking about as soon as I said "The witch".

She simply laughed, throwing an end of her chiffon light blue Hijab back preparing to listen to whatever long, crazy story I had to tell.

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