Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish

Panic

Ava POV

I woke up to the bright light of the sun peaking through some white curtains. I lifted my head and was expecting Billie to be laying beside me, but this wasn't her room. I looked around and it was a lot more open and I was underneath a white comforter. I felt my stomach drop as I looked to my side and saw a girl with wavy red hair sleeping soundly beside me.

What the fuck

I felt myself panic as I got up and scurried around for my phone. I had the worst possible thoughts flooding to my brain. What did we do last night? I didn't sleep with her, did I? I couldnt even imagine how hurt Billie would be if she ever found this out. I didn't even mean for this to happen. I was supposed to go home to her! But my dumbass got drunk and made some stupid decisions.

"H-hey.." I heard a weak sleepy hey come from the girl still laying in bed, slowly sitting herself up. "Um.. hi.. where the fuck is my phone??" I was still panicking as I looked everywhere. She looked at me a little concerned.

"Hey what's the matter?" She got up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I intinctintly pulled away making her furrow her eyebrows at me, "Seriously whats up with you?" I didn't say anything but felt a wave of relief as I picked up my phone from beneath the bed.

My heart dropped as I saw the many missed calls and unread texts from Billie.

Billie💕
Ava?
I really need you.
I need you here please.
Ava?

8 Missed calls

Ava WTF??
Don't come HOME!
I don't want to see you here!
I thought you loved me..
We're done goodbye

I felt my heart sink. What does she mean were done? Why doesn't she want me there all of a sudden? I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks. "Hey why are you crying? Are you okay?" She went to wrap her arms around me again but I quickly pulled away and gathered my things. "What did we do last night?" She hesitated and did t say anything. "I said what did we do last night!?" I got closer and she looked scared. "W-we didn't do anything... we were too drunk and we passed out.. " I sighed and looked down, a little relieved.

"I need to go.." I said lowly. She looked at me confused and shocked. "What the fuck do you mean you need to go?!" I didn't say anything else to her but put my shoes on and quickly slipped out the door. I heard her call my name a few times down the hall of her apartment, but I decided to ignore it.

Thoughts and worries fogged my brain. Did Billie know? No.. how could she? Why was she so upset? I really hope she didn't do anything to herself..  my chest tightened at the thought. I quickly ran through the parking lot and down the street. Where the hell was I? How the hell did I even get here? I looked around and recognized one of the stores.

My chest ached as I remember this store. It was the store me and Billie went shopping at, and then got mobbed and then that night happened... I knew my way home from here. I picked up my phone and looked through it as I jogged down the street. I went to my inbox and saw multiple voice messages left behind. I clicked the first one and started listening.

"A-ava I don't know *sniff* w-where the fuck you are! B-but I don't want to fucking see you! I thought y-you loved me... "sniff* But I guess not.. you can go kiss t-that other girl of yours!"

I felt my heart sink. I could hear the pain behind her voice in every word. I wish I was there to hold her. I scrolled down and found one more voice message from her.

"I-I'm sorry Ava... b-but I can't do this anymore... i-it felt like you were t-the last person to l-love me... but I think I'm fully broken... and there is no m-more that I can heal... goodbye.. I love you.. I wish you felt the same.."

My eyes grew wide and panic rose through me. What the fuck did she mean she couldn't do this anymore?! I had the worst possible thoughts coming to my head as I sped as fast as I could down her street. I felt more panic as I saw her car missing from the driveway. I ran up the steps and into her house probably scaring the life out of Maggie, who was cooking in the kitchen.

"Oh! Hey Ava." She said to me but I didn't acknowledge her. I immediately went down the hallway and burst into Billie's room. My heart began to race as I looked around the destroyed room. There was no blood anywhere which made me feel a little bit better, but the knife she used was laying on the floor. I looked around and found her shattered phone sitting on her bed.

I felt tears slip though my eyes before I left her bedroom and went towards Maggie. "Do you know where she is??" I asked Maggie in a hurry. "N-no she left this morning and hadn't said anything to me.. is everything alright?" She rubbed a towel on her hands and turned to me. I felt silent tears fall down my face. She walked towards me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Ava.. what's going o-"

"I need to borrow your car!" She looked at me confused. "I, uh.. why?"

"I can't explain but I need it!" I looked her in the eyes and tears streamed down my cheeks. She quickly nodded and understood while turning around and handing me her keys. I didn't say another word, but bolted out of the house and got in her car. I thought of the first place Billie would go in a time like this. The place where she said was her way of escaping. She told me she would stand there and look over the view and just take in every moment alone.

I started the car and sped off down the street. I drove as fast as I could to where me and Billie had our first date.

I really hope she was okay... I can't imagine almost losing her again...
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A/N
I'm sorry but y'all are going to hate me for the ending...

1114 words