Izone | Oneshots

2kim ; sacrifice

"Give me a few minutes, Yunjin. I need a breather from that routine." Chaewon muttered, trying to catch her breath from an intense dance routine. Yunjin gave her a short yet sweet thumbs up as the younger tried catching her breath. 

Chaewon took out her wallet. She left the practice room and went to a nearby convenience store. The staff greeted her with a warm welcome. She's always in this place. Every staff knows her. Not because she is famous, but because she was always there -- buying necessities, food, drinking alcohol -- it's like an extension of her house. Actually, her house was just an extension of the store. 

The convenience store was big but not like a grocery. It has aisles with shelves, shorter and smaller ones, compared to an actual supermarket. Thankfully, Chaewon's needs are all there. 

She went to the second aisle, getting a protein bar, a bag of chips, and two bottles of energy drinks. She knew it was bad for her health, but even two bottles couldn't restore the energy she had put towards her success. 

She checked the time and cursed under her breath. "Shit. I am so doomed," She said as she placed down all her items on the counter. 

"Stressed?" The cashier said as she manually scanned the items.

"Not really. Just tired." Chaewon left out a soft chuckle. She reached for her purse...Wait... Her purse! 

"Shit. Wait. I think I dropped my purse. Can you put my items on hold, please?" Chaewon panicked even more as she saw the long line starting to pile up. Her anxiety was further heightened when the old people from a nearby Zumba class started checking their watches and complaining. 

"I gave your purse to the guard in your building." Chaewon was stunned hearing that low-registered voice.

"I'd like to add these. I'll pay for everything." The tall girl said to the cashier. 

"Good to see you back, Minju. Since when were you back from the states? That's 12000 Korean Won" The cashier told her. 

"A couple of days ago, Yuna. Thank you." The tall girl uttered as she gave her a 50000 bill. "Keep the change, little bunny!" She said winking at Yuna. Chaewon just looked down the whole time. It was a quick encounter. Everything happened quickly.

"Yah. You should really thank her." Yuna advised her friend. She gave her a small paper bag which Chaewon quickly took and gave the young girl a smile. Minju had already left but Chaewon decided to run after her.

"Minju, wait! Minju." The tall girl stopped and faced her. 

"It's been a while, Chaewon." She said coldly but still trying to put up a smile. 

"I just want to thank you. Thanks for saving me back there. I owe you one. Let me get my purse-" Minju grabbed Chaewon's arm.

"No need. Next time, hold on tight to your purse. You don't want to lose all your cards and money. You don't want to put all those sacrifices to waste." 

"Yes. Of course." Chaewon said, mentally cursing herself for being such a loser in conversing with others. 

"Would that be all?" Minju politely asked. 

"No. I mean. Yes. But No." 

"Chaewon, I only have a couple of minutes left." 

"I... I... I want to say sorry." Chaewon finally gathered up all her remaining strength to confront Minju after what had happened to them. 

"For?"

"For leaving. For abandoning you, rather. For failing to fight for you. For being a coward. For everything." She said looking down. Chaewon knew she was too ashamed to face Minju, how much more to look at her in the eyes.

"It's been so long, Chae," Minju said. "I never blamed you for choosing yourself. I really respect you. " The hint of bitterness was evident in what Minju added. 

"Min... Believe me, I tried. I tried. But... No matter how hard I fought, no matter how violent I got with pushing and pushing and pushing... It felt like I was stuck, we were stuck. I felt drained, Min. The next day after our confrontation, you left for America." 

"Min. Once. I fucked up once. I fucked up by choosing myself." 

"You don't have to explain to me as I did not want an explanation either. Let's go our separate ways. I wish you the best. I really do." Minju said looking directly into Chaewon's teary eyes. 

"Chae? Break's done-" Chaewon heard from her side. 

"Minju." 

"Hi Sakura. You must be busy. I'll leave now. Take care." Minju said as she placed back her Airpods on her ears. She continued walking, not even looking back.

Chaewon broke down. Who wouldn't? Seeing her first love again after 5 years of trying to heal and forget her. Chaewon was already doing a great job but after this encounter, she definitely thinks she's back in square one. Sakura knew what happened to them. 

It was around 2021 when Minju was offered a scholarship to UCLA for her master's degree. The thought of long-distance scared the both of them, causing them to argue about the big decision. Minju wanted to leave Korea with Chaewon, but Chaewon wanted to pursue her own career in music. 

Don't get it all wrong, Minju wasn't mad at her decision. She knew she didn't own Chaewon. The Minju that Chaewon faced a couple of moments ago was a new Minju -- the Minju who built a wall around her, who became numb to everything -- the Minju who chose to heal and forget. 

Minju had a fair share of pain and sacrifices while abroad. A couple of months after she had left, Chaewon's company announced she was to debut. Debut with Yunjin, the person she knew Chaewon saw more than just friends. It wasn't a long time after she had confirmed with Sakura that her now-ex had already been dating Yunjin for 3 months despite their break up being 2 and a half months ago at that time. 

For Minju, loving Chaewon was red. Losing her was blue. Missing her was dark grey, but forgetting her? It was black. It was a mixture of every color. Forgetting her was like spraying black paint over a beautiful masterpiece. But it was necessary. For her sanity. For herself too.

Could you blame Minju for turning into who she is right now? But could you also blame Chaewon for choosing herself?