say yes to heaven

13

I actually couldn't sleep, my stomach was hurting and I tried to push through it but I literally couldn't. I grabbed some antacids in hopes of calming it down. They certainly worked and I basically... released all the contents of my stomach, which then made me hungry. So here I am at 4am, rummaging through the fridge for food.

I know I have the leftovers that I got with Diane but I'm pretty sure that's what made my stomach hurt in the first place, so I avoid that. I see a pot and I grab it to look inside, realizing it's the spaghetti Delia made yesterday. I do a silent little fist pump and grab a smaller pot to heat it in. It just tastes better when you heat it on the stove but I'm obviously not going to reheat the entire pot.

I sit at the island and scroll on my phone while I wait, deciding to play a game because it's quieter. "Alana? What are you doing?" I turn to see the blonde walking towards me, her arms crossed with her hands holding her biceps. I'm momentarily distracted by her body, the robe draped over her form perfectly accentuates her curves.

"Huh? Oh... sorry I'll umm clean it when I'm done. I just hate it in the microwave but it's always better the next day" I answer, by the smell I'm sure she can tell what it is. "I didn't mean that, silly. I meant what are you doing up? Couldn't sleep?" I shrug, thinking that it might not be the most attractive thing to tell her I got hungry after shitting my brains out.

"I just woke up hungry" I lie, "but you ate earlier..." she counters. "A girl can't get hungry twice?" I fake offense, "you know what I meant" she states. "I didn't really like my dinner? I didn't eat much of it and then like an hour ago my stomach started hurting. I'm sure you can imagine the chaos that ensued after so... yeah I'm a bit hungry" I chuckle shyly. "What did you eat?" she asks concerned, taking a seat next to me.

I show her the menu and what I ordered, called 'the scalibut': halibut, sea scallops, royal red shrimp risotto, snow peas, and pea shoots butter. "Oh no... I'm sorry about that, sweetheart. Do you think it was something they used to cook it? I know risotto typically has milk and butter— did you tell them about your allergies beforehand? Someone might've forgotten or miscommunicated... sorry, you're not a child. Of course you told them" she sighs, taking a deep breath as her gaze leaves mine.

"No it's... really sweet that you care so much, most people don't" I mumble, "of course I care about you... and these things are important to remember" she whispers. I smile softly and then remember the spaghetti, turning off the stove and emptying the pots' contents into a bowl. "Want some?" I ask as I'm grabbing a fork, "sure" she says softly behind me so I grab another.

I place the bowl between us and grab some for myself, blowing on it a little before consuming it. "Oh my god..." I practically moan, "I take it that it's good?" she giggles. "Good?? It's better than my mom's" I tease as I get more and she smiles while chewing a bite. "This reminds me of lady and the tramp" she whispers, "ouuuhhh Delia! You wanna kiss me?" I smirk.

Inside I'm literally jumping up and down at the possibility, it's so hard for me to contain my excitement. "No but... if I did I'm sure Diane wouldn't like that" she tries to tease back but I can see something in her eyes isn't genuine. "Diane and I are just friends, you know? The girls are idiots they just like to tease" I voice, twirling the pasta on my fork.

"Oh? So the date tonight didn't go well?" she questions and I can hear the pure concern in her voice, it's one of things I love most about her; she's always so considerate of others. "No it went great! It just wasn't a date. The girls got in my head too but... we talked about it and she actually has a girlfriend — I'm really happy for her" I grin as I think about the way the brunette talked about her belle.

"That's sweet" the blonde mumbles and I turn to see her aimlessly twisting the fork in the pasta. "You ok, Delia?" I inquire timidly, something about her has changed in the last few minutes and I don't like it. "I like that you call me that now... it feels right" she whispers, it makes me smile but I don't get so happy as to forget she hasn't answered my question.

"I think so too. I-is there something wrong?" I repeat, "no, why do you ask?" she replies. "I dunno you just... seem different all of a sudden" I answer, "I think I'm just tired. I woke up because I heard someone down here but I should really get back to bed" she stands up but doesn't make any attempts to head for the stairs just yet.

"Are you sure?" she nods in agreement, "I have a lot of... paperwork to do tomorrow. Best I get to bed or I'll be grumpy" she chuckles half-heartedly. "Ok well... I'm sorry for waking you" I whisper, "you're fine. I'll see you tomorrow" and with that she's left to go up the stairs. Leaving me in the kitchen with the half finished bowl of spaghetti.

I don't want to waste it so I sit in silence as I eat, only looking at the bowl or the counter. I wash my dishes and head up, seeing a dim light from under her door. It's obvious that she wants to be alone so I don't bother her this time, slipping back into my bed instead. I bite my lip as I curl my legs up, trying to think of anything I did wrong.

I swear I only get so nervous when I really like someone and it's even worse with her. She has this way of making me defenseless but it feels so good. With her I feel like I can really be myself, show all sides of me without judgement. Most importantly, I don't have to think so much around her. I always feel like I have to be alert, like I have to know so many things to just interact with everyone.

With Delia it's like I can shut my brain off, trust her to handle anything that comes. The supreme makes me feel safe in ways I never have before. All these reasons are why I'm so frustrated with the current situation, stressing about what I did that made her react this way. Maybe it's something else, she might've thought of something that unsettled her.

Did she not trust me enough to reveal whatever it was? Then again, it's possible that she just didn't want to ruin the mood and talk about whatever was bothering her. She's always thinking of others before herself but I thought I showed her I would be there for her. Truly, all of this worries me because the last thing I want to do is lose her; especially before I can tell her how much I love her.