say yes to heaven

18

cw: suggestive flirting, death, grief (slight suicidal thoughts more bargaining than anything)

Alana's pov
I tried to abide by Cordelia's rules but she didn't understand what that means for me. I've been so depressed and low energy, I don't know what to do with myself. It's been a week and a half and she checked on me for the whole weekend the first few days to make sure I stayed in. It pissed me off but I understand she was trying to enforce her boundary.

As much as I respect her, I simply can't do this for much longer. Today is Friday and I'm determined to get out of this godforsaken prison of a house. I got dressed and slipped under my covers, pulling them all the way up to my chin. I waited until about 11, when I was sure she wouldn't come check on me, then I transmutated out the house and onto the sidewalk in front of it.

I figure my best bet is to just use the same method to sneak out and in until she stops with this 'grounded' bullshit. I don't really feel like going to a bar and at first I scold myself. I did all of this for nothing. I start aimlessly walking around, just taking in the fresh night air. Then a thought crosses my mind that could get me in a lot of trouble but at this point I don't care.

I dial Billie's number and wait for her to pick up. I remember the way she initially looked at me and I know she won't tell if she has sex with me because it'd be awkward if she did. "Billie?" I say once she picks up, "yes, darling? It's late, where are you?" she asks quickly. "If I send you my location can you pick me up? I'm afraid to go home" I mumble, I mean it's not a completely lie.

Cordelia will absolutely bite my head off if she finds out I snuck out the house. I'm not afraid of her but that little bit should convince the medium to pick me up. "Um- sure, sweetheart. I'm on my way" she says and I can hear the covers rustling. We say goodbye and I send her my location, pulling my coat tighter around me as I wait.

When she pulls up I swiftly hop in and put on my seatbelt. "I'll take you to my house for now but only temporarily" she stresses and I nod as she pulls off. The ride is pretty quiet and I just enjoy the sound of the car on the road as I lean my head against the cold window. I can't help but to watch Billie's hands, the way she grips the steering wheel, her fingers dancing on it every now and then.

It's not hard to imagine those hands elsewhere; gripping places on my body that will make me high with pleasure. We arrive to her house quicker than I thought and I realize I've been daydreaming for almost half an hour. We exit and I follow her up to her door, now taking in her appearance. She has on silk pajamas with a robe that looks hastily wrapped around her frame.

I smile a bit as I think about how she just rushed to get me without question. My mind begins to wander and I begin to overthink this. Maybe it wasn't such a smart choice given — those were just coincidences. "What happened?" she asks after she gestured for us to sit on the couch. "Do you have anything to drink? If I'm going to talk I think I should have something first" I chuckle softly and she nods.

"Yeah uhh... scotch?" she offers with a grimace, I mean it's a bit strong for my taste but I won't decline. "Anything will do right now" I sigh and follow her into the kitchen where she takes it out of the cabinet. She pulls down a glass and I bite my lip, "will you drink with me?" I ask quietly and she hesitates for a moment. I watch as she checks the time and really debates it.

"Sure, why the hell not" she decides in the end and pours us both a glass. We return to the couch and both take a big sip. I watch as the warm liquid travels down her throat and I feel the sudden urge to kiss it. It's like I can hear her blood pumping or something, her scent just drawing me in. "So..." I realize I've been staring and I look away, "Cordelia grounded me" I answer.

"But... for what?" the blonde asks with confusion evident in her tone as she gets more comfortable and leans back into the cushions. "Because I was having sex" I whisper, "with a student or..." she pauses and waits for me to finish I assume. "No. I just went out and had a little fun" I shrug, "I don't see what's wrong with that" she thinks aloud.