say yes to heaven

17

It's been about two weeks since the Jenny thing and I'm beginning to notice a pattern. I've went out this past weekend with the girls and hooked up with someone prior to coming home. Each time the girl has ended up on the news and it's starting to freak me out. With Jenny I thought it was a coincidence, I couldn't possibly have caused that. Then this girl met the same fate and I'm beginning to believe it's me.

Delia did say that she hadn't sensed a new magic presence. The reason she doesn't know who it is could be because I only just discovered this myself. That poor girl was my first time and now look what happened. It just feels so good and I tried to stop after the second time, something told me not to do it, but I just can't. It's like I can't help myself, it's hard to control.

I feel so energized after, like I've just been freshly charged. That week I went without doing it I was so drained and barely got out of bed. I'm just trying to keep a level head, there's no way I could've done this. I just happened to sleep with two people who had pre-existing conditions. Maybe it ran in their family or something, I barely knew them so who am I to say?

I went out with the girls tonight because I will not make a repeat of that week after Jenny, I just can't. So I found a girl at the bar and we went back to her place. Unfortunately I fell asleep, the girls had all texted me saying they were going home and let me know when they arrived. I nervously looked over at the girl and checked if she was breathing, which she was.

That solidified to me that it was all in my head, there's nothing wrong with me. I smiled but it quickly dropped when I realized I was three hours past curfew. On the weekends the time is extended from 11pm to 1am because we typically go out. So imagine me creeping into the house at a little past 4am to the supreme sitting on an arm chair waiting for me.

"Nice to see that you finally came home" she smiles sarcastically, "sorry" I mumble. "Where the hell were you? Do you understand how late it is and what could've happened to you out there alone? I know you're aware of the curfew so did you forget or you just don't care?" her voice becomes harsher and harsher which instantly makes me defensive. "I don't have to answer to you I-" "just stop. We'll pick this up in the morning, I'm too tired to deal with your attitude" before I can reply she disappears.

I know all the girls are knocked out cold but Cordelia is still up so I stomp my way up the stairs just to piss her off further. It's not fair that she can bombard me with questions and accuse me of being irresponsible then not even let me defend myself. I get in my room and strip bare, leaving the worry of a shower to the morning. I can't possibly think of doing anything else when I'm so frustrated.

the next mor- afternoon

I open my eyes and let the sun blind me, staring blankly at the wall. I feel amazing physically but something nags at me and I don't know what it is. I felt great last night and then Cordelia blew my high, now I just feel off. I decide to just rip the bandaid off and head downstairs, I can't avoid it forever. I surprisingly don't see anyone and I don't hear anything either so I slowly wander into the kitchen.

Once I see I'm alone I head straight for the fridge, I swear I'm always hungry. I'm not really in the mood to cook since I'm still a bit groggy. However, cereal genuinely does not seem appetizing after all the meals Delia has been cooking for us. So I try to wake myself up by putting music on the speaker, turning it low in case the blonde is working.

One of my favorite songs comes on, I like by Guy, and I sway my hips as I sing along. Taking out some tilapia and grits, boiling the water and taking out seasonings for the fish. "Girl words can't express the way I feel for you. The way you hold me, the way you touch me" I whisper as the singer does. I get lost in it, working on autopilot as I sing to myself.