August 31, 2018 - Deloris pov
It's Friday, only two more days after today, and then school starts.
A nervous feeling hits me when I think about it.
Nobody knows my name, and I know anyone. I'm scared that I'll be lonely this whole school year.
I stopped taking my medication, I know it helped me through the day, but it made me feel weird. Too numb.
I didn't feel sad, but happy isn't the word either.
My mood has been a bit down since I got herr, but I don't care.
I should feel more free. Happier. But I don't.
Living on my own was a bad idea.
If everything goes down again, there is no one.
I'll be on my own and die alone.
"Fuck" I whisper to myself as I catch myself over thinking again.
Maybe I'll make friends and I won't be alone anymore. At least I hope so.
I look around my apartment, trying to find something to distract myself. My eyes fell on my phone.
Before I attempted, I deleted all my socials.
At the hospital, it was forbidden to go online, but I could get an account now.
My hands are shaking for no reason as I open Instagram.
As I create the account, I feel fear crawling under my skin.
There isn't anything to be scared of. My username is just my name.
As the nickname I put in 'Del', most people call me that anyway.
My profile picture is just a picture of a street, I don't like my own face.
Nothing happens, no new followers, no messages, nothing.
I feel kind of relieved. I look through accounts and see some old friends of mine.
Even though I'm scared, I do add them. I mean, maybe they think I died. Immediately, Sammy, a girl I was close with, started typing.
"Are you okay? Where have you been?" She texts.
"Long story, but I'm alright." I reply. This is kind of awkward, so luckily, it isn't in real life.
"Are you coming back?" She questions.
"No, I'm not actually." I say.
"Oh, that sucks," She says before she goes offline again.
I don't feel like replying and closing the app.
My phone bounces as I throw it on my bed. I look around. What can I do to distract myself? I decided to go out for dinner by myself.
Even though it's scary, I saw a cute café nearby.
The door closes with a loud sound. The weather is okay, it's pretty warm. I don't like the heat, though.
The air is warm, which makes me feel like there isn't enough oxygen in the air.
I make my way down the stairs and walk to the café. I take a look around while I walk, I've only been outside when it's dark and everything looks so different now.
I enter the cafe. Luckily, there aren't many people, just some old couples and a few people around my age.
I walk to the counter, and I'm welcomed by a girl with a sweet smile. When I order, she nods and smiles to herself.
"You're new?" She asks.
"Yeah, how did you know?" I ask. I try to make conversation, but I'm super nervous.
"Normally, only the same people come here." She says. She moves her hand to shake mine.
"Joan." She says.
"Deloris, but just Del." I reply.
She smiles. "Well, nice to meet you, Del. Your coffee will be ready in a few minutes." She says, friendly. I smile and take a seat at a table.
It is a window seat so I can look outside. My eyes follow the people who walk past. Joan places the coffee on my table.
"Thank you." I say. She is quiet for a moment.
"Do you mind if I sit with you?" She asks, I feel a smile from my face.
"No, I don't mind." I reply.
"Okay, I'll make my own coffee, and then I'll be back." She says and walks away.
My eyes follow the people outside again. My eyes fall on a girl I recognize, Billie. She enters the café.
"I ordered online." She says.
"Name?" Joan asks her.
"Billie Eilish." She says. Joan hands her the order, and Billie takes it. She walks away, but she sees me.
"Deloris, right?" She asks with a playful tone, and I nod.
"Just Del." I correct her.
"I'll see you around, Del." She says and walks away with a smirk. I feel myself blushing and watch her as she walks away.
"Did you just have a conversation with Billie?" Joan asks with disbelief.
"Yeah, but I don't think she likes me that much." I reply awkwardly.
"Billie doesn't talk to people she hates." Joan says. I just laugh awkwardly, I have no idea what she means.
801 words
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Everything I'm not // Billie Eilish
Fanfiction"I'm always here for you." Billie says, her voice soft. A smile creeps on my face. "I'm always here for you too." I reply. - "Where were you when I needed you?" I ask. My chest tightens and tears fill my eyes. "I don't know. Where were you?" Bill...
