Everything I'm not // Billie Eilish

chapter 10

Saturday, 22 September - Billie POV

It's been 8 days.
8 days since me and Cloe made a deal.
I befriending Deloris, getting her to share a secret, and telling the school.
When I think about doing that, I feel awful.
At first, it was a funny joke, but Drloris is actually nice.

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Billie
I want to stop the deal 1:34pm

Cloe
Awh, do you feel bad? 1:37pm

Billie
Yes, I do 1:37pm
Deloris is actually nice. She
seems so scared. I can't do
that to her. She'll
break. 1:39pm

Cloe
That's the point 1:40pm
She's weird. I want her to break. 1:42pm

Billie
Go do that yourself, but I'm not helping you with that 1:45pm

Cloe
Don't talk back to me. 1:46pm
You can pick. That freak or me 1:48pm

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Sometimes, I'm hate Cloe. She's my girlfriend and I love her, but she's so mean. She always knows how to get me.

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Billie
You, of course, 1:55pm

Cloe
That's what I thought 1:56pm

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Cloe hates Del for no real reason. At first, I did, too. She's pretty, so I felt intimidated.
The first time we sat together, I saw the fear in her eyes, so I decided to be nice to her.

Cloe thought it was a good idea to make it a deal. A deal to ruin her life.
The worst part is that it isn't Del she wants to hurt, it's Joan.

Since Del and Joan are friends, Cloe's idea was to ruin both of them.
Since "someone doesn't befriend a cheater. Then they are one too."
Which I think is bullshit. Del is super sweet, and I think she fears being cheated on.

Del is very close off, so it's hard to know her. The only thing I know is that she lives on her own at 17.

I know the basics. She likes to draw, listen to music, and she's able to sing. Not that I'm allowed to hear.

My phone buzzes, and I roll over in my bed. It's cloe again. A sigh escapes my lips. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm still with her.
Then I remember all the things she did to me. How she helped me when I was feeling down.

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Cloe enters my room. "You didn't even clean your room before I came over?" She asks.
A sigh escapes my lips. "I didn't feel like it." I say.
"Well, it's a complete mess. You can't let a lady sit in here." Her voice has this judge tone I hate.

"It's only a few hoodies. Nothing too bad." I argue.
She gives me an annoyed look but stays quiet. She just nods.

We lay on the bed. She pulls me in her arms and plays with my hair. How can I hate her when she's so sweet?