Everything I'm not // Billie Eilish

chaper 6

12 September 2018

“Do you want to go shopping later today?” Joan asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. My eyes look back at Joan.
“Yeah, it sounds nice.” I reply. “Is there anything specific you need?” I add.
“Just a dress, and maybe some other clothes.” She explains.
“Alright.” I say my phone buzzes, and I grab it.

Simone wants to call. I roll my eyes.
“I have to make a call real quick, be right back.” I say, getting up from the table, and I walk outside.

It's still cold, but the sun is shining, so it's okay.
My phone buzzes again, and I pick up. “Hey, Deloris, how have you been?” She starts.
Her voice is way too nice, and it's really annoying.
“Pretty good.” I reply. I'm not lying. If I think back to the time in the hospital, I've been better.
“Good to hear. What have you been up to?” She asks. I can hear her take notes.

“Hanging out with my friends and focusing on school.” I explain.
“Sounds great.” She says. It's quiet for a moment. My eyes follow the people who walk by, and I fidget a bit with my hair.

Simone asks me a few basic questions. It's really annoying, but it's better than being at that place again.
I feel some rain drops on my face. First, it starts off with a few drops, but then it starts to fall down.

I quickly explain it to Simone before walking inside again.

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The school day drags on endlessly, leaving me tired, but I'm excited to go shopping with Joan.

We enter the shopping mall. “Let's buy something hot.” She says excitedly.
“Alright.” I say and smile softly. My parents gave me some money to shop, and I'm kind of excited as well.
“I know this amazing store.” Joan says and pulls me with her.
I smile and follow her. There aren't many people, luckily.

We enter a big store. There are clothes, accessories and shoes. I look around fascinated by the style here.
“I knew you'd like this!” Joan says joyfully.
“Yeah I do.” I say while looking around. While making my way through the shop, my eyes fall onto a shelf with baggy pants.

I quickly grab my phone and ask my parents if I can buy clothes. Within five minutes, my mom replies with an ‘of course honey’ I smile and put my phone away.

“Oh my god! Del, buy this, it'll look amazing on you!” Joan says cheerfully. She's holding a black tank top. I smile softly.
“You think? I can try it on if you like.” I say softly. Joan smiles widely and nods.

I take the shirt from her and walk to the fitting rooms. Underneath the tank top, I put on grey baggy pants to make the outfit complete. I look at myself in the mirror and the scars on my arms. 
I feel a heavy weight in my chest, making me wish I could turn back time and make different choices. If I think back at those times, I know that I could've done better.

“Does it look good? Can I see?” I hear Joan ask.
“Give me a second.” I reply. I quickly put on some extra bracelets, which I always keep in my bag, for situations like these.

Joan looks at me, and her eyes widen. “Girl, you look amazing!” I smile softly.
“Thank you.” I say awkwardly. I've never been good at taking compliments.

“I'll quickly change back into my normal clothes. After that, we can grab something to drink. What do you think?” I ask.
Joan smiles. “Sounds good. Is it okay if I ask Reggie and Dante to come here?” She asks, and I nod.

We make our way to a cafe in the mall.
Reggie and Dante are both wearing a shirt with the number 420 on it.
“You guys look stupid.” Joan says. I laugh softly.
“Look,” Dante says and points at his shirt. “420 stands for drugs.” He says, and they both start laughing. I can't help but laugh, too.

Sometimes, they're literally 6-year-olds.
Joan rolls her eyes jokingly and walks inside the café, we follow. The waitress raises her eyebrows.
“What can I do to get you?” She asks. She's clearly annoyed by us.

As Reggie and Dante try not to laugh, Joan orders for us.
Within a few minutes, our coffee is ready. We choose to go and are walking through the mall again.

“Del, you should really change into that new outfit.” Joan says.
“Like right now…?” I ask.
“Yes, there are toilets. You can just do it in there.” She says and points at a door with the word ‘toilets’ in bright green letters on it. I think for a moment.
“Okay, sure.” I say, Joan smiles.

As I walk back to the group, they look at me.
“What?” I ask. I changed into a tank top with baggy pants and put my hair up. “You look amazing!” Joan says, and Reggie and Dante agree.
“Thanks.” I say with a soft smile.

We walk further and we enter another clothing store. I look around. It's a bit of an alternative store, and it looks nice.
As I make my way through the store, my eyes fall on Billie. She notices me too.

“Well, I didn't expect you to be here.” She says playfully. I roll my eyes and ignore her. I just start looking at the necklaces and go through them.

“You do be looking good today.” She says. I turn to look at her and raise my eyebrows in confusion.
“What?” I ask, confused. Billie laughs softly before walking away, leaving me confused.

Joan walks up to me. “There you are! Why was Billie talking to you?” She asks, confused.
“No idea.” I reply. Joan rolls her eyes.
“That girl needs to know how to leave you alone.” She says I can hear she is slightly irritated.
“Yeah.” I say.

1031 words

A/N:  Sorry for not updating for so long! I've been busy, and I'll try to upload more often. For now, I'm going to try and get tickets!! (Super stressing)