Despising you

Chapter 28

L i s a

For someone who insists she doesn't like girls, Jennie Kim is...incredible at giving head. It's all I have been able to think about since yesterday when she was on her knees giving me the best orgasm I have ever received.

How did she do that? Beginner's luck, that was it. But how is her luck that perfect?

I swear I was seeing stars, that was when I actually began seeing again because I blacked out for a good five minutes. I didn't want to leave her, but when I did, I realized something... Jennie Kim is not straight.

It's not surprising I didn't realize sooner. While I'm fairly confident boasting about academic intelligence, it's the complete opposite when it comes to emotional intelligence.

I think deep down I've repressed any thought of her liking girls because then I would understand her messed up behaviour. However, I stopped repressing it and fully figured it out when I gave her head for the first time and she avoided me after.

I didn't make it weird because I knew she was nervous and needed some time to face me again without being embarrassed.

We've all been there.

It should make me angry, feral in frustration that the girl who berated me for liking girls actually might like girls herself. I think deep down I am angry, but maybe even happ—

No! I can't dwell on it. It doesn't matter if she's a lesbian, because she will chalk up what we're doing as experimenting and probably grow up to marry some rich man who is a prick.

It's not my place to bring it up or focus on it anyway, she's just my tutee and sort of my sex buddy, it's not in my place to help her understand her internalized homophobia. I could care less.

I can just carry on enjoying the benefits of our situation, which are absolutely incredible. I need to get my hands on her again, I'm practically foaming at the mouth because of her.

I would have gone over to her house today, but I had to work straight after school. I could text her now, but I think I should give her a day or two.

Or am I giving myself the time to relax? Because for some reason, I feel heavy hands around my throat if I think about her for too long. She didn't just give me head yesterday, she also...taught me how to play the piano.

She didn't make fun of me for not knowing how to, but she taught me something genuinely.

She was so radiant, so utterly talented when she played those notes, so I couldn't grasp the fact that her mother hasn't asked her to play for a while. Why would anyone not want to hear how angelic the notes sound coming from Jennie?

Stop it!

"You okay? you seem distracted today," Miss Choi says, snapping me out of my thoughts, her eyebrows raised in concern.

My shift ended some time ago; I'm just helping clean up while I spend my entire time thinking about Jennie. It has to be because I'm horny. Like we agreed before, that's all it is.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just distracted," I say with a sigh, wiping the counter down.

She snatches the cloth out of my hand. "Your shift is over anyway, go sit with your friends." She gestures towards Jisoo and Jimin who are sitting at one of the tables next to the door where they are both engrossed in their own conversation. They often wait for me to finish my shifts so we can hang out after.

"But—"

"No. You're always staying behind to clean, so go!" She shoos me away, amused. "Also, tell your friends to stop tipping hundreds—"