How you get the girl

Chapter 26

Lover's perspective; 

I decided to go to therapy finally, and my aim was to talk. The last time I had been in that office, I shut down and didn't talk.

I drove to the small, brick building, parking outside and looking at it with apprehension, gripping the steering wheel. 

"Hi," I cautiously walked in and shut the door behind me, making my way over to the desk. 

"Hello, how can I help you?" Same receptionist as last time- Good, that's a good start. 

I cleared my throat. "Booking for Lover at 10:30," I said, my voice sounding unlike my own. She told me to sit down, and I crossed the room, sitting down in the same chair as last time, comfort is in routines, if I break it I won't know what to do. 

I got called in, and sat in the same seat, on edge. Mackenzie left the door open a crack like last time, and I started bouncing my leg anxiously, wondering what she was going to ask me this time. 

"So Lover, I noticed that last time you didn't talk, and I apologise for coming on strongly, so this session could we start from scratch?" That wasn't what I expected her to say. I started picking the skin around my nails as I nodded without looking at her. 

"So, let's start from scratch," She said warmly. "Can you tell me about your friends?" 

"Um, I live with eight of my friends and my girlfriend," I mumbled softly. 

"That's nice, could you tell me a little more about your girlfriend?" 

"She's uh, her name is Reputation," I smiled. "But she's away at the moment," 

"That's a shame, when will she be back?" 

"I... I'm not sure yet," I swallowed thickly. 

"Why is she away?" 

"Um, well I don't know how to say this," I said, "But she got peacefully kidnapped along with 5 of my friends and he's letting them out one by one, so she could be home in a month or a year, I'm n-not sure," 

"I have to admit, that's an unusual situation to be in," She chuckled. "You seem to be getting  little more confident, do you think you're ready for me to ask some other questions?" 

No don't ask me that, I'm not ready at all, I'm going to freak out again, I don't want to be here. I want to be with Rep, she wouldn't ask me that, she knows me, you don't know me at all! "Okay," I pushed the thoughts down but they were piling up. 

"So, how do you feel now, it's been a while since the incident," 

"Scared," I said quietly, the thoughts threatening to consume me as I struggled to keep my voice working. 

"Mhm, what do you feel scared about?" She scribbled something down in her notebook. 

The fuck do you think I feel scared about? I didn't say that out loud, but I opened my mouth to say something else, something nice, and yet nothing came out, my throat was constricted. I started thinking about what happened, her clammy hands on me, the alcohol in her breath as she kissed me. The arms of dread and fear had reached up my throat and wrapped their bony fingers around it, choking me. 

"O-kay, how about we try a different question," She continued writing in her wretched notebook. "How has your girlfriend reputation helped you with your feelings?" 

The hands loosened on my neck, but still didn't let go. 

"Have a lolly," She shook the glass jar towards me, and I took one, same flavour as last time. I sucked on it, bringing my knees up to my chest and focusing on tasting it. When I finished it, I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.