Soul Ties-

018. Patience.

Tivoli Gardens
Kingston
Thursday October 12, 202*
3:45pm

Kelesi Martin 17.

*8 days later*
Today made 9 days since Dessi's passing and since I lost my child so as a Jamaican tradition night their nine-night will be held at Cockburn pen.

Only my family and friends knew about my miscarriage so it's originally Dessi's nine-night but at the end of the night family and close friends will be releasing lanterns for Dessi.

But both me and Omario will be releasing two for both my unborn child and Dessi.

I wasn't taking it well but no one knew because I was so good at acting as if I was fine.

I have a long history of self harming and I've been clean for a year. Only my family and Kyla knew about it and since I had good skin my scars weren't visible well unless you took a close look.

"B weh mi bag deh" Omario appeared at my room door and I pointed into the closet as I watched him head inside for his bag.

He's been sleeping over since my uncles were staying in the Cayman Islands for business and my sister was mostly staying with her boyfriend.

"Yuh good ma?" He walked over to where I was on the bed with the bag in his hand.

I nodded with the fakest smile planted on my face and he kissed my forehead before leaving the room once again.

Ever since I've had my miscarriage my mind has been all over the place like right now.

Using elastic bands as my method to not relapse but it's not helping like it used to and I'm at my breaking point.

"B gwaan guh put on Yuh clothes nuh memba we affi guh help out ova eh yaad" Omario rushed me when he realised I still had my towel wrapped around me.

I heard what he said but didn't budge.

"Shake mi head dwg mi cyan bomboclatt badda inuh" he said because he had grown impatient.

Not looking at him once I got up and headed into the closet to retrieve my nude jumper then returning to the bedroom to get dressed.

Feeling his arms around my waist but I pushed him away.

"Baby I'm sorry" he said with a soft but audible tone but I jus hummed in response.

Hearing him kiss his teeth and shortly after the door was slammed shut I felt a burning sensation leading up my throat followed by a few tear drops falling from my eyes.

Wiping the tears away I walked to the mirror to fix my messy bun and to analyse my figure.

Gyal shape nice eeh mn.

Coulda swr a you jus did a bawl...

Memba me issa top gyal, not a flop gyal.

No u issa mad bloodclatt gyal.

Correction, we issa mad bloodclatt gyal.

Walking out of the room with all my belongings including my brown purse and my brown Gucci slides on my feet.

As I entered the living room I saw Omario seated on the couch with he attention focused on his phone.