the unforgiven | james hetfield [2]

six

chapter six: the horror of surprises

James waited anxiously for the door to open. He didn't know what to expect in the next few seconds, it felt like time was dragging on the longer it took.

His mind was racing, trying to think of all the reasons why she wasn't answering the door. Maybe no one was home, maybe she didn't live there anymore, maybe—

James froze when he started to hear the sound of footsteps near the door and the knob turning. His heart was beating out of his chest, trying to prepare himself for what came next.

As the door opened, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. There she was, still at the same place and only more beautiful with time: Iris. 

From the moment she stepped forward and his eyes landed on her, all the memories came flooding back. His heart ached thinking about all the missed time they had because of him. 

When Iris looked at him, her eyes widened. Out of all the people she was expecting to see, it wasn't him. She normally didn't expect anyone for that matter, but he was the last on her list. 

Iris didn't know what to say or how to feel, things were so much different now. He couldn't just waltz back into her life like this. 

They both stood there, just looking at each other. Not a word was exchanged, just a silent glance into each other, wondering what the other person could be thinking right now.

Iris opened her mouth, her tone low and quiet. "James, what are you doing here?" She asked, finding it difficult to look him in the eye as she spoke.

"Please forgive me, please." James begged, looking to get straight to the point. That's what he came for. He wanted her forgiveness, to be back in her life.

She laughed a bit and shook her head. The audacity for him to just randomly show up and think he could get what he wanted at the snap of a finger. "No."

"What?"

"I said no! You think I'm just going to take you back so easily? After all the shit you've done to me?" 

James stood there in silence for a minute, knowing she was right. "Look, I know everything that happened wasn't okay, and I'm really sorry. I want to make things right with you."

Iris crossed her arms and looked at him. "Really? That's all you got? A simple 'sorry' isn't going to fix things." 

"Okay, fine. What do you want me to do or say? I'll do anything, just please forgive me." He sounded desperate.

"I don't want you to do anything James, I've moved on without you. I think it's time you do the same." Iris told him, her voice much calmer now.

She was trying to let him down easily, even though she knew it would break his heart. There were so many things she worked hard to overcome because of him, and he didn't understand that.

"Iris, I know you're upset, but I can prove to you I'm not the same guy I was seven years ago," He reached out to take her hand. "I can't live like this anymore, being alone all the time."

It was sad to see him this way. There was something deeper going on within him that Iris wasn't ready to deal with just yet. She needed some time to think and process all of this.

"No James," She shook her head. "If you knew the reasons why I don't want to forgive you, you'd see why it's been seven years." Iris told him, her voice trembling slightly at the thought of it. 

"Then let's talk about it. I'm here, don't push me away. Please." He told her, his voice barely a whisper. James was ready to even get down on his hands and knees for her to get the hint. 

Iris sighed, feeling overcome with emotion. "Go home, James. It's late." She told him firmly, stepping back into her apartment.

He watched as she placed her hand on the doorknob, calling out to her one last time. "Iris, wait."

Iris closed the door in his face, leaving him alone in the hallway. James's head hung low, feeling defeated to know that things hadn't worked out the way he wanted them to.

He felt terrible. She didn't even want to give him the chance to explain himself. He wasn't going to give up on her though, they had gone through worse while being together.

Iris let out a deep breath as she stood on the other side of the door. She didn't know if what just happened was a dream, or if James really decided to show up to their apartment today.

She pinched herself just to make sure. Nope, he had shown up at her door for real. 

As she thought over what happened just now, she wondered if maybe she was too hard on him. He genuinely seemed apologetic and wanted to make things right. 

Still, Iris wasn't going to let herself forgive him so easily. In the time he was gone, she had gone through many ups and downs and went to severely dark places because of their sudden separation.

For all he knew, one second he would promise to make things right, and the next he would be back to doing the same stuff she was putting up with years ago.

She'll never know for sure if refusing to hear him out was going to be a mistake later on. She thought it was unlikely for him to come back around again to bother her after this.

Or so she thought.