Sometimes, when you're lying on the ground, you can hear the world breathing.
You can feel the frantic speed at which the Earth spins on its own axis.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
You can run in the opposite direction,
You can grab onto the grass.
But it keeps spinning.
"The sun will rise and we will try again", right?
But what are we trying again?
To be a better people?
To make the right decisions?
To finally let go of the bad?
Some nights, you're just there
Standing outside -
Just before stepping into the house.
Or getting into the car.
And you stop.
You watch the sun.
Its color playing with the clouds.
Pink. Red. Purple. Blue.
And then - just darkness.
The sun's gone,
And you notice it's getting cold.
And you realize -
You've been wanting to go inside for a while now.
Or driving.
But as so often - something's holding you back.
It's like the setting sun takes something of you with her.
Now it's empty.
And still.
But as always,
There's no time to feel that.
No time to sit with it.
You've got to go.
Further.
Faster.
Again.
And just like that -
Another day is over.
Tomorrow will be better.
You'll take the time you need.
You tell yourself.
"Stay positive"
It's not that bad.
Others have it worse.
You should be happy with what you have.
Maybe it's you.
Maybe you're not mature enough.
Maybe your thoughts are wrong.
Maybe you're too weak.
And so you talk yourself down.
Because that's what you are.
Small.
That's what the people on that plane above you would think, too.
If they could see you.
Standing there.
In front of your house.
in front of your car.
With your key in your hand.
It looks like a blinking, flying star.
On its way where the sun is still shining.
And again comes again the quiet desire to just lie down on the ground.
Right where you're standing.
Maybe -
if you're lucky -
You'll grow into the grass.
Disappear.
Become part of some alien organism.
You check your watch.
All you really want to know is:
How long have you been standing there?
It's cold now.
You can barely feel your hands.
The first missed calls and messages are waiting for you.
Where are you?
What are you doing?
You should've been there by now.
Or maybe -
Your phone stays silent.
No messages
No calls.
No one wonders where you are.
In both cases,
You wish the grass would just swallow you whole.
With every breath of the Earth.
Deeper and deeper.
But no matter how much longer you stand there
In the cold -
it's not going to happen.
So you take a breat.
Feel the ice in your lungs.
Look up at the stars one last time.
You search for the plane.
But it's already out of sight.
So you unlock.
And get on your way.
"The sun will rise and you will try again"
YOU ARE READING
Plucky Thoughtfullness
PoetryIn the world we live in, thoughts get lost. Not because they want to disappear, but because we're too afraid to think them. Some are naughty, some forbidden, some simply unwanted. We don't want to think them. We can't. We don't have the time to. We'...
