You Won't Believe The Things I've Seen

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

The brothers followed Director Fury to the helicarrier and climbed aboard. "There are rules once you get to the tower." Dean started to groan only to be silenced by Sam when a large foot stomped on top of his.

"Rule one: Do not provoke or anger anyone on the team." Sam chuckled, "You'll have a hard time with that one Dean." "Shut it Sasquatch."

Fury gave the brothers a look before continuing. "Rule two: Only go in rooms that you've been given access to by the owner."

"Rule three: Do not go easy on them. They must learn this stuff ASAP and don't need to be babied." Dean said, "Good 'cause I'm not a damn baby sitter."

"Rule four: Don't bring up their pasts. This ties with rule number one. Rule five: Please be patient. These people will be hard to work with, so just give them time. Some are better than others." "Well isn't that fan freaking tastic," Dean said.

"When we arrive the team should be ready for you. I would say they will, but that's a lie. You can't count on those mother fuckers for much, but they sure can kick ass." The three men soon arrived in New York. "Before we go in, I have to check on my Baby," Dean said. "Will do Mr. Winchester. I'll go see if they're ready." "Okay," he said and was escorted to the garage.

After checking on Baby, Sam and Dean were led to a large conference room with a table in the middle. Stretching across the length of the table was a big A. Sam and Dean took a seat while waiting for everyone to arrive. Dean was pleasantly surprised that they had classic rock music playing while they waited and started singing along, trying to annoy Sam to no extent.

Fury walked down the hall with the team in two behind him. "I don't know why we have to have new training. I mean, the stuff we know is good enough," Tony said. "Not good enough for what you'll be up against," Fury countered. "Where's Vision?" the engineer asked.

"He had more important matters to attend to," the director said. "How come when anyone else has 'more important matters' they get to leave, but when I do I have to stay?" Tony whined. "Because your 'more important matters' always involve you going to your beach house and leaving the rest of us to do the work," Steve said.

"I do not," Tony scoffed. Everyone else disagreed with him. "I can't believe you people," he said. "What the hell?" Clint said when they came upon the conference room with large windows.

They could see two men in suits, one looking extremely pissed with his head in his palms while the second one sat next to him playing his leg like a guitar and singing along to a song. The men seemed to be oblivious to their presence until the director knocked. The longer haired one looked up and gave a forced smile. The second ones face fell and instantly stopped what he was doing and sat up straight.

"Happy now Dean?" Sam asked, smirking. "Shut up," Dean snapped.

"You've got to be kidding me. These are the guys who are supposed to train us? Could you not find anyone else?" Tony asked. "I'll have you know that these men have managed to save more lives than all of you combined while staying under the radar of the federal government," Fury snapped at him. Tony looked back at the men. "You sure you didn't get the wrong guys?" Tony said in distaste. "Yes." "Either we're extremely desperate or extremely over budget." "Shut up Stark."

The team walked into the room and the music turned off. "These are the Winchesters. Gentlemen, this your new team."

"What?!" Tony exclaimed, earning an elbow to the ribs from Natasha. Dean sat up in his chair. "Listen bub, you're not our first choice either, but desperate times cause for desperate measures." Sam shot his brother a look, but Dean shrugged it off.

"Please have a seat so the Winchesters can give you a somewhat quick debriefing of what's going on in the world," Fury said. The brothers nodded to the director as the team took their seats. Dean looked to Sam, waiting for him to explain. "Whenever you're ready Dean," Sam said smugly. Dean sighed. Guess he had to do everything.

"You know all those stories and legends about monsters and ghosts and all that crap? Well long story short they aren't stories. They all exist, and there's some people like me and Sammy that hunt them to ensure the safety of others," Dean said. "Well that's certainly long story short," Steve said. Tony let out a laugh. Sam and Dean both shot glared his way.

"Please enlighten me as to what's so humorous about the situation," Sam said. Tony looked at him, "It's just that I seriously doubt that monsters and ghosts exist. Personally I think you're
full of bullshit and have lost your minds." Dean stood up and leaned over the table. "Don't believe me? Read the lore."

Dean bent down and grabbed an extremely thick and dust book from the ground. He walked to where Tony sat leaned back in his chair with a smug grin stretched across his face. He slammed the thick volume down in front of him, letting the dust rise up in his face, causing him to cough. Bruce stifled a laugh at the astonished look on Tony's face. "Go ahead, turn to any page."

Tony glared up at him before opening to a page. "Vampires. Are you kidding me?" Tony asked looking up. "Nope. But I can tell you right now that you can wipe your brain clean of everything you know about monsters because I guarantee it's wrong."

"Pft yeah right." Tony said. "Oh really, tell me what you think you know about vamps," Dean said in a condescending tone. "Easy. Pale bloodsucking humans who are sensitive to sunlight and allergic to garlic with two fangs." Sam and Dean looked to each other then back at Tony, making a buzzer sound at the same time. "Wrong! Bloodsucking part was right though. Vamps come in all skin tones and aren't sensitive to the sun. And they're garlic doesn't affect them. And their entire mouth is full of needle-sharp teeth. Not just two fangs."

"Who here thinks they know how to kill a vampire?" Sam asked. Pietro rose his hand slowly. "Yes ma'am?" "A wooden steak through the heart." "Man," Dean mumbled, "We got our work cut out for us."

"Actually, you have to behead them in order to kill them," Sam supplied. "As you can see, you have a lot to learn," Dean said. "Why are we just now learning about this stuff?" Clint asked.

"Your director thought we might like some help, seeing as this is the most difficult thing we've come across in my opinion. So we're here to teach you how to gank those sonsabitches." Suddenly and without warning, the lights began to flicker. Sam and Dean instinctually grabbed their guns full of salt rounds.

"Whoa easy there! Just the faulty lighting. It keeps doing that for no reason. I just brush it off," Tony said with a wave of his hand. Sam and Dean both shared a knowing look.

"Mr. Stark, have you been experiencing any cold spots?" Sam asked. "Yeah, I've tried fixing in the AC, but I don't think that's the problem," he answered. "Have any of you smelt sulphur anywhere in the residency?" Dean questioned. He received a few nods and some mumbling as a reply. Sam and Dean smiled at each other. "Well Mr. Stark, looks like you've got yourself a poltergeist."