UNINVITED

Chapter 21

My session with Dr. Steve ended minutes ago. Falling back on the Yoga mat, I stretched my hands and splayed them on the hardwood floor. I stared at the ceiling, thinking about so many things. First, my marriage and how it suddenly tettered on the brink of death. It wasn't my fault.

I did the best I could to protect it. I complied with the rules and even tolerated Stella when I thought I couldn't. Tom broke the rules. He destroyed our marriage. It wasn't my fault. I was willing to revive it, but Tom wasn't.

Narrowing down my thoughts, Mom's pallid face when she was on the verge of death appeared in my mind. She'd told me to protect Grace and thanked me for staying with her, and then slowly her soul had left her body. There was no pain. She'd died peacefully.

Although I knew it was only a matter of time, when it came I was overwhelmed. I sat by her bedside, my lips quivering as rivulets of tears glided down my cheeks. Denial set in. I checked for a pulse, heartbeat, breathing... hoping that perhaps, she wasn't... Or at least a miracle would happen and she'd wake. But she didn't and I sat there, crying silently.

Tears stung my eyes, it hurt. I didn't blink them back. I needed this. Present situation had triggered old memories, reopening past wounds that more or less failed to heal completely. Grief was strange. It knew no limits. Sometimes it came like a tornado, hitting you when you least expected it. Till now I still hadn't completely grasped it. I sank to the floor, crying again.

Then it ceased when the two words rang in my ear. Help Me. I couldn't have imagined it. I had a sharp memory until, of course, I started drinking. I never drank to the extent I'd imagine things. Amy had been behind that window and then Alec showed up. This morning, I thought I'd wake up to dire news about the Bergers. Maybe Amy was at my door in tears, finally telling me how Alec had been abusing her. Or the police asking questions. I expected something to happen today to confirm what I had seen but no. Everything was perfectly fine between the Bergers as usual.

This was puzzling. I shouldn't get close to them, but I knew I would. I needed an answer. I hadn't hallucinated. I couldn't start doubting my memory in the middle of a divorce. I had to be sober. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees. How should I approach the Bergers this time? I'd have to be prudent now since Alec was always around his wife.

If I made a mistake and Alec found out I knew what he did to Amy behind closed doors, he could get angry. Angry enough to try and hurt Amy. Abusers were unpredictable. Their unpredictability was what made them dangerous. They could take you by surprise at any moment, any time. I'd have to get Amy alone. Maybe invite her over and talk. Without her husband, she'd feel comfortable enough to open up to me. Then after I had confirmed my suspicion, we'd go to the police and report Alec before it was too late.

Easy in thought but a different story in action. I dragged myself from the floor and rolled the mat. Clara was sprawled on the rug when I entered the kitchen, licking her fur. I neared the refrigerator and grabbed a gallon of milk, realizing it was getting empty. It needed a restock. I'd need to go to the supermarket.

I carried the gallon with me to the counter. Amy didn't trust me yet. That explained why she was keeping things from me. It would take some time. What if she didn't have that time? I poured a tall glass and sipped. Trusting someone with your secrets was a very big decision which required a lot of caution. With betrayal being our greatest enemy, it made sense why people wouldn't trust often. I took another sip and swallowed. There were people I wouldn't tell my abuse to, but when it became critical, I'd look beyond that.

Seeking help from the right people was important. It saved you from drowning and making lethal mistakes. I downed the milk, rinsed the glass under the sink, and went upstairs, Amy's voice screaming in my head. Help Me.