Jonathan Joseph

Chapter 15

"So now you know everything." I half smiled. "Still interested in staying around?" I asked Clyde sarcastically.
"I don't think there's anything that would make me not want to at this point." He sat down on the bed. "So this was you. When you were a kid?" he said gesturing at the posters of bands, actors and singers plastered on the walls. I smiled. "Yeah Paramore was my favorite, I think I've been to every one of their concerts." He pulled a picture off the wall observing it. "With these guys?" He flipped it. I was in the middle between two of my best friends with my hands in the air. it's sad that this seems like a life time ago that I was actually having a great time. "Yeah.."

"The irony... Wish you could just go back in time huh?"

"Defiantly."

I put the picture down on the desktop and sat beside him I looked up at him once eyes looked into mine I realize that this feeling this weird feeling I felt all the time around him was something I could not just shake off. It wouldn't go away and I hate to admit it but has probably been there since the day I met him. "Thank you so much." I said. "I'm proud that you're overcoming a lot of things right now, I don't know how I'd deal with it." He said. "You are a lot stronger than anyone could give you credit for."

I swallowed hard.

"Really? cause if it wasn't for you-" I started.

"I don't want to hear that, just take my word for it." He whispered.

I don't know where in the mix of the moment when I got so close to him. that being physically and mentally. I was less than an inch from his lips and eager to get closer. My mind was finally at ease nothing was running through my head except how nervous I was around him still. I was going to speak even If I didn't know what to say but before I could his soft lips were already planted on mine. I felt like I was seventeen again my heart was pounding my hands and cheeks were on fire while
Our lips moved in sync at this point his soft touch on my cheek made be desperate for more. The feeling in my stomach the feeling I could finally put my finger the feeling that I always had when I'm near him was butterflies - I could even say butterflies weren't so much close it was the whole zoo. it might be an exaggeration to someone else but it was an underestimate for me. Time stood still after we finally unlocked lips I looked into his eyes. I couldn't shake the terrified guilty feeling that washed over me. I realized I had just felt a million and one things for someone else. I forced a smile before he'd notice my change of expression and ask what's wrong so hugged him before he could suspect my suddenly overwhelming guilt. This would now only make things so much harder for the both of us..

-

I had barely slept last night with one less thing running through my mind it still called for 99 things running through my mind. I hope Jonathan is okay, how's Clyde going to handle it when I tell him I made my choice, and last but not least do I even really wanna see my father? all I really needed was a break to rattle up my thoughts and keep up with my emotions cause it's all just really overwhelming.

-

"So how'd you handle it?" He asked as I buckled in my seat belt. "Your dad going to jail and all."

"I didn't that's when I left and the same day I found about Jonathan." I told him as I waved to mom goodbye. She made it clear that the last time she'd visit him was when they filled out the divorce papers and from there she would move on with her life. "Ready?" He said before starting the car. It was impossible to not hesitate but I nodded trying to prepare myself for this. It wasn't about a month ago until he got out and put into a halfway house. Beside Jonathan's mother Clyde is the only outside my family that knows about him and what he's done. Everyone else thinks he's happily at home with the mother they think I despise. Well I did at one point not until I realized how much I really missed her and not forgiving her wasn't really an option.. As for my father... One step at a time..