Jonathan Joseph

Chapter 7

I was cold. Extremely cold for some reason even though I was wrapped in a thick blanket.

I pulled my eyes open to find myself in the living room sofa, two pills and some water placed on the stand that also holds a small lamp. I flicked it on as it lit up the room and I began to sit up my head was pounding.

My eyes burned from the crying and when my memory came back to me I didn't feel any better.

Eventually I swallowed down the painkillers followed by the water.

The back door suddenly flew open and Clyde walked in with the same white rag he had earlier but it had more black stains.

He didn't have much of an expression on his face. He didn't even ask what happened nor confused looked about the shattered glass magically thrown across the room.

"Hey." He shut the door quietly.

And so slowly stepped over to me almost as if I had a gun aimed right at him.

I don't know what kind of pity he was giving me but I suspected he thinks I'm crazy.

"I cleaned up everything in the kitchen..." He pauses.

"But everything's busted your gonna need new-"

He spoke calmly but I saw right through it.

Immediately I pulled my walls back up and went into defense.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" My voice became cold.

The look on his face should have got me to regret speaking to him like that. In spite of everything he's going through I didn't feel one bit bad - something just came over me. I didn't want him to think I'm crazy and he's already seen too much for him not to think just that.

I didn't need him getting any closer to me, I don't need any man getting close to me.

ever.

Something was just warning me that's exactly what's happening

"Chelsea I'm-"

"Just get out. Go. I don't need you here I don't know why you suddenly think you can just barge in my house like it's your own."

"I'm trying to help you." He threw his words back at me.

"You don't even know me, you don't know anything about me. How in the hell could you help when you can't even help yourself?" I said rather calmly but my words cut right through him like a knife.

I could tell by the look on his face that really hit home and I suddenly wanted to suck back in every word that ever came out my mouth.

Without anymore to say he turned around slamming the back door right behind him.

"Clyde." I barely whispered.

When I tried to stand up to go after him I stumbled to my feet. I was extremely weak and out of breath. I felt the tears coming up once again but I just hold it in. I'm so tired of crying and screwing things up at this point

"He wasn't much anyway." I hear Jonathan's voice behind me.

I turn around still on my knees to see him leaning against the front door.

"What is wrong with you?" I spoke coldly.

His eyes were red as if he cried just as much as I had and he sighs before speaking again.

"Chelsea there's so much more too it. I don't know where to start."

"What you're talking about?"

"Nothing is the same anymore, I'm not the same person anymore and god, there is so much you need to know.." he trailed off sobbing turning his back to me.

My heart ached from the sound of his cries not feeling as weak as I did before I pulled myself up on to my feet and slowly walk over to him.

"You know you can tell me, you can tell me anything." I reached out to him.

"Don't touch me." He whispered.

In the blink of an eye he was no longer a reach away but he was now standing across the room from me.

"I can't. I can't tell you everything. You need to figure it out Chelsea, I know you can..."

"Figure what out?" I asked....

But it was too late, he was gone..

-

"You seem oddly quiet today Chelsea... Perhaps more uncomfortable than usual."

"No.." I stared blankly at my therapist Regina.

I don't know why I try to hide things from her it's what she does gets in people's heads figure out what the root of whatever illness you have, observing ayour body language the way you speak and facial expressions its kind of weird having someone break you down and try to build you up - kind of like fixing you I guess.

"Chelsea." She clears her throat and sits on the edge of her seat.

"Has something happened?" She questioned.

I blink a few times but she doesn't move on.

"What's changed?" She asked.

I couldn't open my mouth. I knew that if one word came out it'd probably be the fact that I'm seeking my dead boyfriend and it's more than my imagination... it's real.

But then again I'm so afraid to admit to this insanity and didn't want her to confirm that's what's happening.

"... Visualizing things?" I heard her say but unfortunately I didn't hear what was said before.

I began to think she was on to me.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Have you been seeing things?" She asked.

I went in defense afraid of where I would end up if I told her the truth.

"Excuse me?" I scoffed. "Regina I don't like the accusations you're throwing here, it must be you that's a little nuts if you actually think-"

"Chelsea your eyes are red. You've gotten darker circles around your eyes and you like you aged about twenty years since the last time I've seen you and it's only been a week. You look weak and sick."

But she was right I haven't been feeling myself lately and now that I hear it I'm coming to realize this.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I throw back at her checking the time on my wrist watch. "Well, if you don't excuse me I have a job to be getting to... Unless you think I'm getting a little to old to be doing such." I grabbed my things and took off out of her office.