Jonathan Joseph

Chapter 5

I stepped down the front porch not exactly sure of how to handle the event that had just happened. There was no doubt that I wouldn't take what Jonathan said into consideration but the real question is why did they both lie?

The situation in my eyes didn't seem like something worth lying about, or was there more?

"How do you even know?" I sat down on the steps assuming Jonathan was behind me.

Sure enough he was. "I don't know, but it's like.. The people you are closest to I can feel only half of what their really feeling." He paused for a moment. "With you I can feel everything."

Before I could ask anymore questions behind me I saw a spark of light coming from the backyard of course causing it to catch my attention.

I stood up walking between the trees and into the backyard to see a small fire along with Clyde sitting back in a chair.

"Uh, hey." I'm assuming my voice startled him from the way he snapped back turning around to look at me.

"Enjoy diner?" He turned back around, his voice was cold and the closer I got to him I realized he was smoking a cigarette.

I wasn't very found of cigarettes but that didn't stop me from pulling up chair beside him but still leaving more than enough personal space.

"You weren't there." I commented.

"Yeah well, I don't think that really mattered." He mumbled.

But I heard him pretty clear. "Is everything okay?" I asked.

It was pretty obvious he was upset and if Jonathan was right then Clyde didn't know about it either.

I probably shouldn't have even asked him that because he looked pretty pissed. But it was probably a cover up because just looking at him from a distance you could still see the devastation in his eyes, he didn't look the same as he did when I first met him. Now his expressions were lifeless like my therapist Regina and tones were freaky alike.

He chucked the cigarette to the side, eyes glazed over in a long thought. I didn't want to disturb him and I felt as if just sitting there I now was an interruption.

"When finding out twenty-two years of your life was a complete lie, of course nothing is simply okay." He sounded as if he just finished fighting off a cold.

I won't lie sitting there and re-running what he had just said it wasn't hurting anyone at that the fact that I was thinking he was two years older than me - and the whole time I thought he was just some kid.

"I don't even like this stupid gardening thing." He added.

I didn't know what I could say to ease his mind because when your worlds turned upside down there isn't much that can be said to make someone feel better it just happens over time really.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you."

"It's funny cause the moment I came here I didn't feel like I belonged here."

My heart was rocked by the sound of those words because I once used them and I definitely know the feeling. "What did you use to do.." I began on to something. "What did you use to do before you came here?" I asked.

"I used to work at my fathers... auto repair shop." He gave me a strange look as if asking him what he used to do was suppose to be my way of making him feel better, then I'm horrible at comforting people.

I shifted in my seat thinking for a moment, for some strange reason I wanted him to feel that feeling again of belonging because it's terrible when you feel like the worlds judging you for being an outcast. I don't know why I was doing this for someone I barely knew but it felt so wrong but also felt right so I began. "You know, I walk everywhere." I started off. "Even though I have a car..." I paused taking a deep breath. "The car is actually a friend of mine, uh Jonathan's..." I paused giving myself another moment. "For some reason it won't start up, and it'd really help if you would check it out." I swallowed hard afraid of his response including Jonathan's if he were listening.

He looked over at me forcing a smile. "Thanks, but I'm not sure if that's even me now." He thought for a moment clearly choosing his words carefully. "Who knows what my real father does, who ever he is. If I had known I probably be into what ever he's doing."

I just sat there thinking , trying to put the pieces together and it really wasn't that hard.

Except for the parts I wasn't told.

"Clyde, if half of what Camille told us in there is true you don't have to beat yourself up about this because her parents are still your grand parents meaning you are all still a family and that's all that matters."

"Well, I'm sorry if I'd rather prefer knowing my real mother rather thinking that my grandparents are the ones who brought me in to this world I understand that were all tied together but for twenty-two years? I didn't even know my own mother. Nonetheless I never even heard of a "aunt Camille" until she showed up one day. so I knew something was up-"

"You just didn't want to believe it." I finished off for him.

He pressed his lips in a tight line and slightly nodded.

he got up from his seat shoving his hands in his pockets trailing off.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "You should just go home.."

"No-"

"You don't need to be apart of this mess, so just go." his eyes went dark frightening me a little.

And he walked off Just like that. Not another word.

I got up and smushed the small fire out before walking off too, I looked around realizing that there was no sign of Jonathan as I hesitantly began to walk off.

When I got back inside Camille's everyone had been gone, the table was clear but there was no sigh of anyone in the house.

"Camille?" I called out.

Nothing.

I looked up at the darkness at the top of the stairs wondering if she'd come down at any moment.

I can wait for quite a while but this had been long enough.

"Alright, well.. I'm just gonna go now." I shouted.

I sighed giving another moment for a response before I left.

-

The next morning I decided that my house needed a new change, for or some reason I was feeling a little different, a little more enlightened and inspired.

But of course Camille was still my concern but I don't want to exactly bombard her with my comfort a little space was nice - sometimes to much comfort can be a little overwhelming.

"This color would be amazing for the walls in your room." Jonathan pointed out a nice teal color out of the various different shades up against the wall.

"No, my sheets are purple." I murmured, still in thought of what to choose.

He chuckled. "You can't change the sheets?"

I looked over at him, my attempt to glare at him was failed because he was right. "Oh, shut up." I threw my hands up.

"Excuse me?"

I practically broke my neck turning to the sound of a female dressed in blue and black with a name tag giving me a very strange look.

"Do you..." She paused looking over my shoulder assuming she was wondering who the hell I was talking to.

"Do you need help with anything."

I couldn't deny the redness in my cheeks of embarrassment. "Uh, no I just.. Sometimes I like to think out loud, you know? You should try it. It helps." I spoke as casually as possible but even that made me sound more crazy probably more than I already looked talking to the air in her eyes.

I walked over to the different paint colors and pointed one out to the lady. "This one, I want this one."

"Teal?" She asked making sure.

"Yep."