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" I . . . "
"Hm?" Kazuha hums. His hand holds my wrist, tugging me toward him too gently to make it obvious. He suggested sneaking out of the house with me as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Surprise, it wasn't. I want to say yes to his offer, but it's too risky.
Seeing the excited smile on his face, awaiting my response almost makes me rethink my answer. It was destined to fade away the moment I said the next sentence that I was planning to say. I bite my bottom lip with the rough edges of my top teeth. I'm nervous about what he's going to think after I say no from how much of a pussy I am against my parents.
He knows they're abusive and the worst people I've ever had to be stuck with in my life, so I hope this isn't some setup to get me into shit I can't get out of by simply walking away. Oh right, I didn't tell him much about them except for the fact that they're abusive people, mentally and physically. I should've much earlier when I was crying in his arms at the Nurse's Office, but it's too late for that.
My heart was pounding in my chest. The more I moved, the more I became aware of the throbbing and wetness between my thighs from the orgasm I recently released.
"You do know I'm grounded," I bring up with clear uncertainty in my tone. I hope it was enough for him to get the hint. "Right?" I add, in case he thought I was willingly declining his offer to sneak out with him.
I don't want to say no, but I have to. It's already bad enough that someone other than me is even present in my room in the first place. Especially, Kazuha, a murderer, a pretend boyfriend, and a friend with benefits. If my parents found out, they would do things to me that would probably make Kazuha's blood boil if he found out. Sneaking out with someone—he is simply going to add fuel to the fire.
I was expecting his relaxed smile to be replaced with a disappointed expression. Surprisingly, no. Instead, a chuckle erupts from the center of his throat and reaches out to flow into my ears like water entering a mouth.
"It's alright," he says.
I sigh in relief. He isn't mad or didn't think about my answer too deeply. That's good enough for me. His feelings getting hurt by someone like me would either lead to, A, him cutting me off from his life. Or B, him cutting me off from life, literally. I don't think he was too sad about it. When I said I was expecting a reaction full of disappointment, I think he's nonchalant deep down.
"But, I wanted to spend time with you outside..."
What the fuck? My eyes widened from the sudden change in his voice. Before, he had a tone that seemed like he didn't care about the situation at all, and now it was as if he heard the news of an old person passing away. Well, I don't think he would care in the first place. I hope he does. He's not that heartless of a person. I think.
