Somewhere Only We Go

Chapter 19

Avinash

I didn't know how much sweets or sugary stuff a person could eat before I met Kabir. He is munching on more pancakes after finishing the two I had set on his plate. Not to forget everything he ate last night. How is he even alive?

Do you really want to go there, buddy?

No, I don't. My relationship with food is complicated, to put it lightly in a word. When Dad started controlling my professional life, I started controlling what I ate. The more decisions he made, the more meals I skipped. Not that the two were connected but every single calorie I consumed or refused to eat was some control over my life, that's what I tricked my mind into believing. Then all those single-person meals I cooked, I hated eating them. Cooking brought me peace and not eating those cooked dishes made me feel powerful. Look, Dad, I can still refuse something that is what I told myself every time.

Trying to be strong in my mind, always a coward in real life.

"Avi?"

"Hmm...Sorry did you say something?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing important..." Kabir gave me a look that said, are you still doing this? And I know I promised him I won't hide anymore but I am not letting this day be spoiled.

I sigh. "You promised."

"I know, and I meant it but not today please, I just want this day to be perfect for you." Kabir's face softened.

"You have already made it perfect Avi, there is nothing more I want."

"I promise nothing expensive, it's also kind of the last day of freedom we have." Kabir frowns. "As much as I'd like to steal you away from my whole family, I don't think I can get out of it starting tomorrow."

"Oh, okay."

"Why are you nervous?"

"Well...I don't know...now that it's more...you know..."

I don't, what is he talking about? He scratched his head. "I want to make a good impression on them."

"Kabir no, I...Look I get that, trust me I do, but don't have to because" I paused, took a deep breath, guess we are doing this today. "Because they will never accept you, especially my parents. The only acceptance you will get in my family is from my cousins and you already got that last night. My mother couldn't care less about my existence and my father even if he did care wouldn't acknowledge us, this part of my life would never exist for him."

I grab his hand and he settles in my lap. "I have spent my life wanting their approval or acknowledgment and it would never happen. I don't want you to work for something that they don't deserve. You owe them nothing baby. Don't think about putting yourself through that pain." It's true, even if through a miracle I would have mended what was broken in my family, my parents, especially my father would never accept Kabir. And I refused to let him go through that torture. And a tiny voice inside my head kept saying they were not worth it but I still couldn't believe it.

Kabir

I don't know what I did in my life to deserve Avi, but every minute spent with him was another moment of being happy, feeling loved and cared for. It's not just the big expensive things but also the little things he has been doing for me. We spent the day visiting all the famous spots from one of my favorite movies; we spent the most time at Chapora Fort, I took tonnes of pictures, I wanted to capture every single scene, but my favorite part was clicking Avi's pictures, he posed for some, but a lot of them were me sneaking in shots of him. His face is photogenic, there were no bad shots. Now it's almost sunset and we are sitting at the beach, a quiet one, there are not a lot of people here. It's exactly what I need after the day we had. I am still a little sore from last night but I was not complaining about it.