Somewhere Only We Go

Chapter 31

Kabir

Avi flinched at my words and took a step back. I knew what I said cut deeper than I was intended. But I was growing tired of being kept on the outside. I knew it wasn't the same as keeping my father's death from me. Avi was nothing like my parents and yet sometimes I felt like he was still a stranger to me like my parents had become.

"I am trying," Avi said and I could hear the crack in his voice. What was I doing? Was I letting my insecurities get the best of me and hurt the man who had done nothing but be good to me?

"Avi" I stepped in front to close the distance between us but he stepped back. I would be lying if I said that didn't hurt because it did. But he was still standing there and not running away and that in itself was the biggest evidence of how much he had changed. He truly was trying and instead of appreciating it and being patient, I had become greedy. Greedy for more, that's how down-bad I am for him. But if I let those emotions rule my actions, I am no better than his parents are. The only difference will be my actions stem from love, but love can be suffocating too.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know why Mom hated me so much after Ishan died. Initially, I tried to ask but she never said a word. Then after the incident, I took that as her coping mechanism. Maybe hating me brought her peace. Maybe she wanted us to switch places. It's not like I haven't thought about it myself, but I can't. I can't bring him back even if I give my own life. Ishan is gone and there is nothing I can do about it, it has been a decade, and..." It still hurts. He left the words unspoken but he didn't have to say it out loud.

I closed the distance between us before he could move further away and wrapped my hands around him pulling him in. He stood like that for a few seconds before wrapping himself around me.

"I am so sorry baby, I didn't mean that, it came out all wrong. I was angry at how easily you wanted to let it slide like it wasn't a big deal when it had hurt you, it would hurt anyone. What your mother did was wrong irrespective of any mental health issue and she needed to be held accountable or at least apologize to you. Did she ever do that?"

"No." One word and it shoots anger through my body like a lightning bolt and I remind myself what is more important so that I don't track down his mother right about now and give her a piece of my mind.

We ended up on the couch with Avi's head in my lap. He closed his eyes and before I knew it his breathing was even and he had fallen asleep I knew in that very moment every day that this man let me be by his side, every wait was worth it. I don't remember how long I stared at his beautiful face until Disha and Rishabh came back with enough food to feed 10 people. Rishabh caught me staring at the food and shrugged. "She couldn't decide what she wanted to eat."

"So you got all the food they had prepared?"

"Hey, unlike you and my sister, we have been carrying boxes the whole day." He was right.

Neither of them commented anything about Avi asleep in my lap but I didn't miss the relieved look on Disha's face when she entered the apartment.

"Wanna wake up our sleeping beauty?" Rishabh asked as he made his way to the kitchen counter. I hesitated because he looked so peaceful sleeping.

"Oh boy, you can't do it, can you?" Rishabh said as a matter of fact.

"Huh, do what?" Before I could make sense of what he meant he jumped in front of me grabbed Avi by his shoulder and shook him so hard, that he woke up startled. "WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP." Avi sat up so fast like someone had set the couch on fire.

I glared at Rishabh but he just laughed at our faces and went back to the kitchen.

"This is how Rishabh and Ishan bhaiya used to wake up bhai all the time, they used to sneak up on him when he was napping and then scream and shake him so hard it was a miracle he never threw up due to nausea. And then they would just run away." Disha told me.

Before I could say anything I heard a voice that I forgot to breathe for a second. Avi was laughing. He was thinking about his brother and laughing and his eyes were all soft. I had the insane urge to grab my camera and click that moment and immortalize it forever. A smile like Avi's is what poets write about.

We spent the rest of the day setting up the drawing room, eating food, talking, and laughing until we were breathless and tears ran down our eyes. Disha and I took a lot of videos and pics and I knew it was equally important for them, these memories. For me, photos speak a thousand words even after the moment has passed, like we have frozen time but now I know those three understood it too. No one knows what life is going to be like tomorrow, so we have to make every moment count with the people we love. So that when the day arrives at the end of the pain there is a smile and laughter.

Avinash

Rishabh hugs Kabir and then gives me a nod before making his way towards the entry gate. Disha left three days ago since she was already behind in her classes. Rishabh decided to extend his stay after he tracked down one of his investors in Delhi and needed to set up a meeting. And while we have made some progress in our broken bond I don't think we are there yet that we could give each other hugs. But I am happy to see him warming up to Kabir.

I had to park the car a little away because there was no parking available so we walked silently towards the car. Kabir has his hands in his jeans pocket and his lips pressed tight and I know he has something going on his mind. He even went to a meeting he was being pretty mysterious about. Usually, he loves to chat about his work like he did two days ago. He came back from a shoot and later that night told me all about it. It was amazing to see him get back to his normal life after the week he had with all the drama with his parents. We have also set up our cover shoots starting next week. There is enough work to keep both of us occupied for the next two weeks.

As soon as we reached home, I grabbed him and kissed him until we were both panting.

"Is something on your mind?" I asked him. We were still standing in the drawing room. The longer he took to reply, my mind started running in overdrive.

"Yeah kind of," Kabir said then pressed his lips together as if he didn't know how to put words to his thoughts.

"Kabir baby please you are starting to freak me out."

"Sorry, it's nothing bad, I promise. At least not too bad, I think?" The last part of his statement came out as a question.

"Just tell me whatever it is." I can handle it. I hope.

"Remember the meeting I went to?" he asks with a note of hopefulness in his voice.

"The one you have been secretive about?" I asked.

"Yeah, that one. So um she is an art curator. Her name is Janvi and she saw some of my work on insta. One of the galleries she works with in Mumbai is having an exhibition on 20th December. They have a spot left in the portrait section. And she thinks I'll be a good addition to it." He tugged his hand in my shirt and started playing with it not meeting my eyes but I could see the smile he was trying to hide.

"Baby this is great news!" I pick him up wrapping my arms around his waist and rotate him in the room. Kabir puts his arm around my neck trying not to fall. "Avi put me down." I did.

"Then why were you making that weird face since morning? We should be celebrating. Let's go out for dinner or I can cook something special for you. What do you want to eat?"

"Wait." Kabir grabbed my hands and then made me sit on the couch while he sat in front of me on his knees. His hands were still in mine.

"You can say no if you want. But I was thinking about what sort of portraits I want to click and...um...I want to click your pictures."

[This chapter was long overdue. I am sorry for the long break but I fractured my finger in right hand and had to get a small surgery. After which I wasn't allowed to use my right arm for a while. I missed these characters are so much and getting back to writing this story is so exciting. While I wrote the last line of this chapter I realized this story is slowly inching towards it's ending. I think I'll wrap it up in the next 10-15 chapters but worry not because I may or may not have another book planned for another character from this book. Guess who?]