chapter 9: new years, new boy

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5 more days. I couldn’t believe the new year was arriving so fast! I wonder if mistletoes were a thing in the New Years, not just the Christmas from 2 days ago. 

Fiona and I were out shopping for gifts that we needed for a New Years Party, kind of like Secret Santa but New Years themed, you know? I was burning inside with jealousy. Fiona somehow got Jaquavius' name. Just my luck, I ended up with some punk named Rae. He was one of the silent but deadly types of the mafia. I knew absolutely nothing about him. I also envied Fiona's ability to freaking walk. I was slowed down by a leather seated wheelchair and bulky itchy casts. I was only discharged from the hospital a day ago and I was already out running damn errands for these fools. I was only here because Jaquavis ordered me to. I was only doing this for him! I rolled my eyes and wheeled myself through the mall close at Fiona's heels. I sighed and let my thoughts take over.

A part of me felt guilty. I had dozens of angry death threat texts from my step-dad and while I despised my home, I missed going to school, even though I was bullied. I needed an education. I missed the woods, I missed Ryan's coffee shop, I missed…my mother. I wanted to sketch and sing freely by myself in nature. There were many benefits though! I had an alpha that loved me, a best friend maybe? I got to live in a warm loving home. Wear fancy clothes, eat the best food, and have a fun job as an assistant in a mafia gang. But I still felt as if something was missing. I scolded myself.

‘God, Yes/No! You're so freaking ungrateful! You should be glad that you are even alive right now!’ I scolded myself. I felt foolish for making so much effort when it wasn't even for me, but for Jaquavius' company. Then again, I do feel like a horrible person for all the time I've spent sulking. I scolded myself some more. But the guilty feeling faded when I remembered Fiona's smile and how she talked about him being happy. I smiled back in spite of myself . I needed some time to adjust to this new life. Being injured like this, I had to change my attitude towards my life. 

(A/N: Sorry the chapter ending seemed sudden! I've been so busy with my own life i hope you understand!)

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