One Stupid Thing

3:9:100

HAPPY 100TH PART GUYS!! ENJOY
——

Usually the cramped space would only make me panic even more, however being able to keep my arms outstretched and brace myself between both walls comforts me. I have to press my hands into the old-fashioned wallpaper in order to keep myself on my feet.

My lungs expand and deflate shakily as I breathe in and out. I feel tears sting my eyes and I don't even bother to hold them back. It was about time that I broke. It's like a dam that chipped and cracked with everything that has happened in my life recently and this is all it took for it to break. And now the surge of water it had been holding back is threatening to flood everything I have left.

The handle on the bathroom door jiggles as a voice on the other side says my name. "Stella, let me in. Please." My sister tries desperately to open the door, but the lock stays strong. My eardrums ring and it feels like I'm underwater. Every word that is uttered is muffled and hardly audible. "John B, help me."

With a loud, unnatural pop, the door unlocks forcefully and it flies open, stopping abruptly where the hinges will no longer allow it to go further, and ricocheting back. Sarah rushes towards me and as soon as her arms wrap around me, I let go, allowing my body to sink to the floor. My sister guides me down muttering to me softly, but not trying to barter me with questions.

I cry and cry until my throat burns and my chest aches. My eyes and nose are raw. Sarah runs a soft hand over my hair and I feel her chin rest on the crown of my head.

When my heartbeat slows and my sobs begin to subside, I shift in my sister's arms and notice out of the corner of my eye, John B, Pope, and Cleo, unsure of how to act.

"We'll go. Let you guys do your thing—" John B starts awkwardly.

"No, no," I assure him, sitting up and wiping my cheeks dry. "It's fine. This is something that you all should know. I don't want to keep it to myself anymore."

The five of us relocate to a few seats on the plane that face each other. I sit between John B and my sister with Cleo and Pope across from us. Resting my elbows on the table between us, I look over at Sarah who gives me an encouraging smile.

"Sarah, what I was trying to tell you earlier is..." I take a deep breath.

"Hey, take your time. No rush."

I nod, but continue. "Do you remember the party we went to over the summer? The night after the beach clean up?"

"Yeah... I practically had to beg you to come."

"Yeah, well, uh," I give John B a look. "I-I think it was after you rejected him... Topper, I mean. I was on the top floor of the deck when out of nowhere Topper comes stumbling towards me. He had to have been on something on top of the alcohol. Something hard."

"Probably coke. Rafe would pressure him into doing it all the time," she mentions.

"Yeah, probably. Anyways, um..." I take another breath. "He kept muttering about you and as I was trying to avoid the situation and get away from him, he...he pinned me against the railing... and he...he... he." I avoid everyone's gazes, but I hear Sarah inhale sharply and I feel John B tense up beside me.

"I'm gonna kill him," the brunette mutters darkly. He begins to get up from the table, but I stop him, grabbing his arm.

"John B, sit your ass down," I say sharply. John B's eyes grow surprised at my tone, but he sits down. "No one is killing anyone. Nothing happened. Not really. I kneed him in the balls before things could escalate."

"That's my girl," Cleo said lightheartedly, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Stella, why didn't you say anything until now?" Sarah asks me, her face was pale and she looked like she was going to be sick.

"I don't think he remembers it considering he was all sorts of fucked up. And honestly, I was scared to. So much has happened and it just didn't feel necessary to bring it up. Besides, um, there were... attachments between the two of you that haven't been severed till now."

"God, I'm so sorry. I should've known. The way you've talked about how much you hate him. God, I feel so stupid." Sarah presses the heels of her hands into her temples and sighs in frustration.

"No, no, don't you dare blame yourself. It's not your fault. Topper is a dirtbag—" I protest.

"That's a nice way of putting it," Pope comments.

"But, I don't blame you. You couldn't have known. He is the only one who is at fault here." I reach out and grab Sarah's hand in mine. She gives my hand a squeeze and I smile at her warmly. "I'm just glad that I got that off my chest."

"So, uh... I'm guessing you never told JJ about this," John B asks me gently.

I turn in my seat to look at him. "No... I haven't. Do you really think it would've ended well if I had? Kie doesn't know either. But we're gonna keep it that way until I can tell them myself, okay?"

John B nods. "Okay."

"Speaking of, what did he say to you on the phone earlier?" I ask.

"Well, turns out that Kie was shipped off to a wilderness camp after all."

"Honestly, I'm kind of surprised it took them this long," Sarah says. "I mean they've been threatening to do it for ages."

"Yeah, well what does that mean for us? What do we do?" I feel jealousy nagging at me deep inside. He's someone else's knight in shining armor now. I guess I have to accept that he won't be around to save me anymore.

"I guess we can give him a few hours—"

"I don't even know why we are even considering that as an option. We don't exactly have time on our side here," Pope protests.

"John B, your dad needs us. Can't they just meet us there somehow?" Sarah asks him gently.

"I promised JJ I'd wait until dark. If they aren't here by then, we can leave without them."

——
It takes an immense amount of strength in order to come forward about something like this, no matter how long ago it occurred or what happened. Although I have been lucky enough not to have to deal with this kind of situation myself, I feel for everyone that has and I encourage those people to speak up. There are people who care about you and want to believe you.
Take care of yourselves <3