transcendence || 5sos

eleven

"I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I'm insecure and I care what people think."

-twenty one pilots//Stressed Out

* * *

Ashton trudged through the streets of the sleepy town, not caring whether or not people recognized him.

Maybe his fans, who were always there for him, would be able to lift his heavy heart.

But they couldn't; their encouraging words and bright smiles that seemed to only get bigger when he smiled back, their undying eagerness, their only goal in life to just meet, touch, or even see him. None of it made him feel better.

He smiled in the pictures that his fans wanted to take, desperately trying to mask the unsettle feeling in his stomach. Ashton wasn't used to being like this, he was accustomed to being the one who was always cheerful, the one who always managed to lift the other boys' spirits when they were down.

Honestly, the only person he felt that would understand him at his current state was Tia. They were both busy worrying about their family, but also at the same time were dealing with other personal problems. His being Kira, and hers being Lily.

Feet dragging against the pavement, he let his body take him anywhere. He was probably a few miles away from the hotel by now, but he didn't mind. The farther away he was, the better. Responsibilities kept forcing their way into the front of his mind, but currently all he wanted was to take a break and lay off all of his problems.

"OH MY GOD!" He heard a few girls scream from behind him. "ISN'T THAT ASHTON?" He turned his head slightly to see a small group of three girls running towards him, phones already in their hands.

One of them screamed loudly as they got closer, and then yelled. "Oh my God, it is him. Holy crap, what is air, I'm dying." She fanned herself wildly.

Ashton forced out his signature giggle, "Hi girls! Nice to see you here."

"Ashton!" Another girl screamed from behind and attacked him with a hug. He hugged her back hoping it would warm his heart, but it only made him colder. He never felt so far away, so distant from his fans. They were like family, usually. They noticed things that sometimes he didn't even notice about himself, which honestly he didn't find creepy. Their fanbase was undisputedly the best; however despite this, he couldn't bring himself to act normal.

"Ash, what's wrong?" One girl from behind asked, worry evident in her eyes and concerned posture. "If you don't mind me asking, of course." She added quickly, flustered.

Ashton hid his surprise so quickly he was certain no one noticed. "What are you talking about? I'm fine! Just feeling a bit sick, the flu is going around isn't it?" He lied.

The girl furrowed her brow a little, "Oh okay, hope you feel better soon!"

"Do you guys want a picture?" He changed the subject.

"Are you kidding me? Of course!" One of them squealed and handed him her phone.

He held the camera up for a selfie and and tugged his lips upward to create his dimpled smile. Ashton took several before he handed the phone back and waved them away as they laughed and giggled.

The girls somehow reminded him of Kira - so young and so vibrant. Nevertheless, he couldn't steer his mind away from what people would think if they were together. Sure, they would probably look like a normal couple out on the streets due to Kira's height, but if his closest friends, family, and most of all, the fans, found out, he would never hear the end of it.