I would've loved her

The Barbie movies left behind.

I dried my hair with the towel and walked inside my room. On my table was the bag with letters, diary and pendrive and the flowers I brought from her funeral.

I kept walking until I was home and didn't look elsewhere once.

I did see, some classmates of mine dragging her friends out. The adults couldn't react and our homeroom gladly turned a blind eye.

The only thing that made me feel better was the way they were being dragged out.

Right now, I was in my room, I walked closer to the envelope and took out the pen drive before plugging into my laptop on my bed.

I saw the folders.

Each named after a movie and then I saw the one named Barbie Charm school. She said it was her favourite.

I smiled, what if we could have watched it together.

I was watching the movie when mid way I realised there were subtitles on it suddenly and then a sentence stuck. It didn't change, it wasn't even a right translation. I know how to speak in English and that sentence did not belong to the movie.

It belonged to me.

'the first letter of each letter'

I could hear my own breath in this room, I felt goosebumps.

I ran towards the bag and opened the letters, I read the so many times and yet didn't catch onto it.

Skipped the only constant 'dear jungkook'.

There were 7 letters in total of all the letters.

I 'm a l i v e

I'm alive.

Holy shit.

At that moment something hit me.

I ran outside.

"Mom! Mom!" I called her and she emerged from the living room. "what?"

"When you said, Ju won used to come here every Monday. Did she used to sit on the same seat every day?" I ask.

"Umm yes, the very same seat. I fact she would wait until it was vacant" I felt the air was getting thin.

"On the day at 4pm Monday, did she come here?" I ask.

We have school until 3 something, club hours and then extra studies until 9 or 10.

It's very much possible she came here during club hours like always.

My mom was thinking until she looked at me "Yeah she did" and with that time stopped. That exact second my body took to take in the information laid out infront of me felt so damn much.

"where?" It was a breath, not a voice

"Where what?" My mom asked.

"Where did she sit?"

"Oh, the she sat on the single person table in the corner" she said and I walked towards it.

I felt so dizzy as I walked towards it and sat there. To think she was here every Monday and even on that day.

She came here before dying- dead, she is not. What is happening.

I sat there.

I was there touching every part of the table and under it and then I felt it, the paper taped under it.

I could hear my own breaths. Everyone thing else just went silent.

The eighth letter.