RBS (Reasons Beyond Sanity)

Lack of Remission

You're hurt.
And I'm hurt
To see you in pain is to feel it too,
But what hurts me doesn't even scratch your heart.
You say communicate,
So we talk,
Then I get blamed for the argument
That I thought was just me expressing my feelings,
Is this gaslighting or am I the problem?
Would most people let things go that kill them inside?

I wanna go back to my pill days,
When I was happily induced,
Where nothing could hurt me,
'Cept when you left me on read,
It would be much better to have just stayed friends,
But I ruined our friendship,
Now I'm left (in a)barren
Wasteland of hopes,
Hopelessly searching.

But again I'm left
Wailing, weeping, whimpering on the hospital floor,
Just to be met by your lacrimation,
And your famous diminution of whatever is hurting me.

I know you're hurt,
You're trying,
You forget,
You're prioritising
Everything but me.

I wanna kill this thought.

But what would I do without you?
I love you but I keep hurting us.
If this never existed,
Then I wouldn't know this pain,
But if this never existed,
I wouldn't know this happiness.

Just for a moment,
A thought rushes in,
Maybe you do regret us,
Even if we hadn't argued that day,
Love or no love.

I can't help but notice.

Life without you now would be Overwhelming,
Very depressing and,
Extra dissatisfying.

Understand that it's the two of us against the world.