"Charles please" I, once again, banged my fist on the door in front of me. Desperate to get an answer from the boy I had chased down the paddock all the way to his driving room where he's been locked up for the last I don't know how many minutes.
The look on his face when realization hit him will forever be engraved in my mind, never did I want him to find out the truth, especially not like that. I could hear him walking around in there most likely trying to get his mind around all the information he just received and maybe I should just let him be alone, process everything he just learned but I couldn't leave him here alone when I had seen the hurt displayed on his features.
Relief washed over me when I heard Pierre rushing over to me in the distance, if Charles would speak to anyone it would be Pierre so I had asked Kika to get him the second I ran after Charles.
"Hey hey Ella it's okay" he tried to soothe me dragging me away from the door and in to his chest.
"Talk to him please just make sure he's alright" she whispered in a broken tone. Watching Pierre handing her over like a child to Kika while he knocked on the door she previously had been banging desperately on. Telling Charles to open up, only difference is this time it did, quickly dragging Pierre inside and then shutting close again. She let out a sigh of relief, as long as he had someone she was okay, it didn't have to be her.
Kika slowly let her grip go to look at the girl in her embrace, she could tell how much the girl loved her brother and how much this situation truly affected her.
"Hey Ella it's alright, he will be alright it's just a lot to process you know" she offered comfort to the girl.
"I know it just hurts seeing him like that. I tried protecting him from it for so long it just sucks the one time I let myself be selfish and tell everything from my perspective he happens to be right there" she had given up on keeping anything from Kika she just gave her this sense of comfort and it was actually really nice feeling like she could say whatever was on her mind without being judged.
"Hey it's not selfish, never say that. Every story has different perspectives and yours is just as valid as anyone else's" she gently squeezed my hand guiding us to sit down away from all the prying eyes my desperate banging on the door had generated.
"I don't know some part of me know that I think but most parts of me just feels like it's unfair to tell my side of the story, the man is dead, nothing I say will change that you know, and I hated him for the way he treated me, sometimes I still do I think, but at the same time he was my father and I love him, he had his bad sides but he also had really great ones and I don't know it just feels wrong to interfere with the way people remember him when he's not around to defend himself" I ranted every thought that popped in to my head, the thoughts that had haunted me since he died but I never had voiced out loud before.
It was calming to get it all out of the contracting chains and locks that finally was old enough to break to let them all free into the world. That's the thing with chains and locks, put them on a bleeding heart and it doesn't matter when, but it will burst someday and the heart will need healing in the right way again, no matter if that's a week or several years later.
"I can understand that, but Ella please remember that your not the villain in this story, trying to protect everyone's feelings will only leave you hurting, yourself and everyone around you, for the record I've never seen Charles as happy as he seemed to have you back you know, I truly believe this is the best that could have happened to the both of you, you deserve your story to be understood and he deserves to understand why you left" she spoke the words so easily like it was the most obvious thing in the world but yet it was the exact words that I've been needing all along.
"Thank you" I gave her a smile before dragging her into a hug not knowing how to show my appreciation in any better way.
Loud laughs and bickering could be heard down the corridor and Kika subtly rolling her eyes at the bad timing.
"Kika what are you doing here?" one of the boys I don't know the names of yet asked intrigued. His eyes growing even more curious once he spotted me, red puffy eyes with dried tears down my cheeks. What a sight.
"Bad timing Lando" Kika just shrugged her shoulders in a dismissing manner to let the guys know it wasn't the time or place to ask the question I could quite literally see brewing inside his brain. The other guy just stood there in the back seemingly uncomfortable of the situation not wanting to intrude.
"But like ..." the Lando guy got interrupted by Charles door swinging open, probably a good thing for Lando because Kikas death stare at the poor guy couldn't be nice.
All four of our heads turned to the door and I could quite literally hear my heart break once again once I saw the red puffy eyes belonging to my brother. I could hear the shocked reactions from the two guys behind me and feel Kika reassuringly stroking my back.
I could feel myself start panicking not knowing what to do next, should I talk to him or just let him be, is he mad at me, should I hug him? Does he ever want to speak to me again? My spiraling thoughts came to a stop when the Lando guy opened his mouth to speak and every person present in the room just bursted out in an "shut up Lando" simultaneously. I let out a small laugh at that and Lando just huffed silently but decided to keep quiet.
Before I could resume my overthinking Charles did the decision for me and rushed towards me basically tumbling into my arms. I felt how my heart took a leap of happiness finally stopping to bleed so heavily, I haven't lost my brother. That's all that really mattered.
"I'm sorry Char" I sniffed in to his shoulder and he just hugged me if possible even tighter.
"Please don't say sorry Els it's not your fault, I'm so sorry you went through all that" he retorted and I couldn't do anything than sob into his arms once again.
"It's fine, we will be fine" I finally mustered the strength to speak and he just hummed something incoherent back.
"Anyways this was awkward I was just sent here to get Charles and Pierre to the lunch we were supposed to have.." Lando broke the silence once again this time he earned a slap on the back of his head from the guy she still didn't know the name off.
I just laughed once again at the guy with clearly no sense of how to behave, kinda grateful for the way he broke the stiff air around us.
"Lando mate just please get some manners genuinely it's concerning" Charles jokingly jabbed at him, a hint of serious concern lingering in the air though. Lando just shrugged his shoulders not taking any offense and looking at the rest of them silently asking if they were coming.
Everyone just shocked their heads at him, seemingly used to his antics and nodded.
"You should come along Ella" Charles looked at me pleadingly once again and I was just happy spending time with him so I nodded and got up with the rest of them. It wasn't until we made it out of the corridor in to the open space of the hospitality that I realized how weird I must look.
"Ehm guys could you like give me five minutes to maybe not look like this" I signaled to my face after seeing the looks everyone else we passed had been giving me. They all stopped to look at me trying not to laugh at my messy appearance and I just smiled lightly before pointing an accusing finger at Charles.
"Mate you look worse than me don't laugh" and with that everyone bursted out laughing, the tense atmosphere finally gone and everything seemed normal again.
YOU ARE READING
Stargazing | Lando Norris
Fanfictionhe was envying the stars the way they always captured her attention she was cursing the stars the way they always reminded her of his eyes a Lando Norris love story
