Memory Lane : her first love

જ➴ chapter eight.

Chapter 08 :
"Used to, not anymore"

now playing
"The space between us" by Siopaolo

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

: : from Sun-hee's perspective :

He has wonderful eyes.
Not the one which drowns you in,
But the type which
makes you a little more alive,
The one which looks cold ;
But deep inside, it gives warmth.
They are beautiful,
They used to make me beautiful.
But beneath those eyes,
I could see emotions,
Or the things which he never told.
Some fears, some regrets.
Some silent narrated stories,
With the soft roaring waves.
It held some secrets, some lies.
Something that was
imperfectly perfect.
I found something in your nothing.
Something I needed to hold on.
Some fears, some tears,
And some illusion.

I was still holding my breath and even if I wanted to I couldn't, I couldn't let it out. It felt like the moment I'll release it, will be the moment I'll wake up from this bitter sweet dream.

That's how it felt.

Suffocating.

The table of ours which was the loudest among every other few moments before was dead silent now. Not even murmurs or whispering, so I guess it's true that he's in right front of me.

Against my will, my eyes didn't leave his, his eyes held regret, guilt and love? Why was there love? Didn't he leave me because it was all immature? But the surprise my eyes held soon turned into agony and not so long - rage.

I didn't want anything from him now, not after all these years. I may be pathetic enough to miss him, or even have a soft spot for him, but it doesn't mean I'm going to submit myself right away and that too like I was desperate.

Everytime I tried to forget Sunghoon my mind and soul lied to me. Atlast I had to accept the truth, and so did I. But a want and need are poles apart.

And he definitely wasn't a need.

Not anymore.

The disappointment I felt over Si-hyeon earlier was a mere dust compared to the last look I gave to Sunghoon and stormed out of the restaurant.

I didn't care about anything or the way other customers were looking at the drama I was a part of. "Sun-hee wait!"

Sunghoon called out my name but instead of how calm he sounded earlier, it was nothing how loud and impatiently he said this time. But no I didn't looked behind, not even a glance over my shoulder, I just made my way even more quickly.

Now we were on the road, but damn he didn't stopped yelling my name, it was so embarrassing the way we earned every look from the people on the street, but if it was his tactic that I'll stop in order to not letting embarrass us, jokes on him, he was completely wrong because, again I didn't cared an ounce.

It'd been ten minutes and he's still behind me. Calling, yelling out my name, like it's the only thing he know to speak, and stupid me doesn't even know where my aimless rage and steps is taking me, suddenly my steps stopped with a sudden jerk and I felt my whole body twirled and bumped into his tall, buff ones.

My wrist was tightly wrapped in his hand and he appeared breathless, and so did I. Even if I wanted to push him but, I couldn't, my tired body reacted otherwise, I was exhausted, devastated and whatnot.

As soon as I caught on my breath pattern I tried pushing him with very little energy I had in me, instead he pulled me even more close to him and hugged me as tightly as he could, as if his life is depended on it.