Intentions: Sam x Reader x Dean x Castiel

Chapter 10

Dean Pov

I don't know how she does it but y/n has a special way of making someone feel so special. Even though we are all with her, when we're alone it's like we are the only two people in the world. I hate breaking down, especially in front of other people, I was taught that it means you're weak, vulnerable, and that's how you get hurt. But she didn't make me feel that way at all. She made me feel safe, safe enough to admit to her something that I couldn't admit to even myself. Even if it wasn't a full admittance, it was a start.

John did a number on me, not like her dad did. Which I still plan on hunting that fucker down and skinning him alive for, same goes for the other one. But he made it to where I couldn't even think freely, imagine freely, feel freely, for years. Not since he caught me and Hunter. Well, me taking it in the ass from Hunter. In my defense, he wasn't supposed to be back for another two days. But it didn't stop him from beating the ever living shit out of me, telling me he'd kill me if he caught me like that again. I still remember having to tell little Sammy that I got jumped when we picked him up from Bobby's the next day. After that, we never spoke about it again. I never saw or talked to Hunter again, and John pretty much never let me out of his sight again.

"Are you okay D?" Y/n asks me, looking up at me from my side.

I smile as best as I can down at her. "Yes princess, I'm okay." I say kissing her forehead as Cas steps outside. She looks at him and then back to me. "Go inside with Sammy. I gotta talk to Cas." I say to her, kissing the back of her hand. She nods and smiles, hopping up the steps and hugging Cas, who hugs her back before she opens the door, giving me a thumbs up before she shuts the door.

I nod my head to the side, motioning to Cas for him to follow me back towards the shed again. He gets the hint and follows me inside, shutting the door behind him. "Dean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything about John it wasn't my place. I'm so sor-"

I push him against the door and press my lips to his, shutting him up. He freezes, making me nervous that I shouldn't have done this, but before I can pull back, Cas puts a hand on the back of my neck and leans into it, keeping me to him. It feels wrong, I shouldn't be doing this I promised dad. But then y/n's sweet voice runs through my mind.

"Let it go Dean, let it all go."

Her voice echoes in my mind, providing me with a cloak of peace. I know this isn't what she meant when she said it, but it helps. Cas's lips are soft, hungry, and so, so good. It isn't what I meant to do when I had him come in here with me, but he just talks too much sometimes.

After I don't even know how long, I finally break the kiss. Both of our eyes slowly open, and it's like a whole new light is shining through the windows. A new beginning, it's only the beginning but it's better than the self hatred I was going through before.

"Dean.." Cas's voice pulls me from my trance on his eyes.

I pull back and clear my throat. "Cas, I.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my shit on you. But you have to understand, I.. I'm not ready for anything more yet. I, I can't do any more, give any more.." I stumble over my words.

Cas smiles softly as he approaches me, a hand tenderly on my arm. "Dean, look at me." He says gently. I take in a breath and meet his crystal blue eyes. "Even if this is all you can give me at all, I'll happily take it and cherish it forever." Cas says softly.

I nod my head and swallow the lump in my throat. Jesus Christ, I'm a fucking mess today. "I just need some time." I say flatly, meeting his eyes again.

Cas slowly blinks and nods his once, a smile on his lips. "Take all the time you need Dean, I'm not going anywhere." He responds kindly.

I nod my head and smile back. "Thank you." I say softly.