Mantis

5. Victor's loneliness

– How did the date go? – Mom asked as soon as I stepped into the cottage.

I rolled my eyes, restraining myself from making some sarcastic comment. Although the clock showed only 9:21, her eyes already looked properly tired. Still, she wanted to wait, so she and Julia could corner me before I even had a chance to take off my jacket. – Mom, it wasn't a date – I replied resignedly, slowly taking off my shoes.

I calmly walked through the room and sat down on the couch, not even dignifying either of them with a glance, and smiled to myself.

"Date," although impossibly short, wasn't that bad. The version of Victor I met today wasn't that bad. It was even interesting. He was still overly confident, which he couldn't hide at all, but he noticed more than just the tip of his own nose. Certainly, he wasn't the same self–absorbed boy I left six years ago by the lake. There were people in his life whom I didn't know. Like that Marcel he talked to on the phone, or the mysterious 'she,' who must have been very important to Victor since he was ready to go wherever she was immediately. Maybe that's why he dismissed the waitress today?

I closed my eyes and smiled to myself. Why was I even thinking about it at all? It wasn't my business. My phone pinged, and I automatically read the message, but instead of replying immediately, I mechanically exited the chat and only responded after a moment.

Alex: I already miss you. I would like to see you.

Paulina: We need to spend more time together. Come to me as soon as possible, and we'll catch up.

I sent the message without analyzing it at all. Instead of pondering the identities of people I didn't know, I should focus on those I had concrete plans with. I stretched comfortably on the couch, pushed my hair back, and reached for a book, but I didn't even read half a chapter when the sound of an incoming message echoed.

Victor: I'm already by the gate. Waiting in the car.

I scrutinized the message as if I could see something more in it, and I widened my eyes. Where?

Paulina: Which gate?

Victor: Yours, silly. Just as you wanted.

I furrowed my brows and squinted. What? I got up from the couch and approached the window.

– I can't believe... – I muttered to myself, peering out the window.

Indeed, the car lights were shining through the trees, and the low rumble of the engine couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

– What's going on? – Julia asked.

I didn't respond, just started putting on my sneakers first, then my jacket.

– What are you doing? – This time mom sat up in her chair and watched me closely.

– I need to check something – I mumbled, still not taking my eyes off the window, and before either of them could ask another question, I went outside.

I walked along the garden path, which led straight to the road, and then followed the smell of tobacco smoke all the way to Wiktor, leaning not against the white sports car anymore but against a steel–gray BMW X6.

– What are you doing here? – I asked in a not very polite tone as he stood in front of me, looking pleased with himself and smiling from ear to ear.

– What do you mean? – He looked at me bewildered. – You told me to come as soon as possible.

– What? When? – I asked, no less surprised than him. – I didn't...

– You sent me a message like that. – He showed me the screen of his phone, which indeed displayed a message from me, meant for Alex, and everything fell into place for me logically.

– Oh, Vic – I sighed, wondering at the same time how I managed to do that. – I'm sorry. That wasn't meant for you...

I threw him an apologetic look, and Wiktor seemed to dim a bit.

– No, don't apologize – he said quickly. – It's me being stupid. I thought... And you're probably fed up with me after today's meeting...– He looked away, and I looked at him more attentively. What?

– Why would I be? – I asked.

Victor gave me a look that said I should probably know.

– I'm probably not the most attractive company for you – he muttered.

– What? – I asked, genuinely surprised.

Victor didn't answer immediately, just glanced to the side.

– It doesn't matter – he muttered and turned his face towards his car. – I'll go now.

He reached for the handle and pulled the door of the BMW towards him.

– Wait – I called out instinctively. – It can't be that you came here for nothing. Let's talk.

Victor turned to me again and gave me a weary look.

– You don't have to bother, Paula – he muttered in an unusually grim tone. – I'll go back home and have a drink.

I looked into his chocolate, dimmed eyes. Something didn't seem right. Victor looked somehow... older.

– Are you okay? – I asked, watching him attentively. – Did you have something to take care of?

Victor smirked crookedly and nodded.

– I screwed up – he said softly. – And now I'm acting stupid in front of you.

– You're not acting stupid – I grabbed his hand before he could try to leave again. – You just thought I wanted to see you.

– And I thought stupidly because you're waiting for someone you really wanted to see. – He looked at our hands and carefully withdrew his from mine.

– Someone from your circle.

– My circle?

– You know what I mean, don't you?

– I'm not sure – I replied, almost at the tip of my tongue to tell him to stop playing games and finally tell me what's going on. – What do you mean by my circle? What does that even mean? What are you getting at?

Victor looked deeply into my eyes and sighed heavily.

– It means that we're different – he said in a very heavy and serious tone. – I've always felt inferior to you. No matter how hard I tried. I'm a guy from the block. Even now, when theoretically I've achieved something, when I observed you throughout this evening, I still feel like I don't fit into your world. You're now a medical student, you'll be a doctor, and I don't even have a high school diploma... – He looked at me uncertainly. – People like me and you don't spend time together. Women like you don't spend time with guys like me.

He looked at me significantly, and I was at a loss for words. How could he feel inferior? After all, he had a ton of money and managed a powerful company. My ability to auscultate lungs and conduct patient interviews couldn't even come close to his achievements.

I looked at Victor, feeling extremely sorry for him. Suddenly, he seemed very fragile and small, even though he wasn't. He couldn't be like that, and he couldn't think of himself that way. I couldn't just let him go home feeling like that.

– Come on – I said, smiling warmly at him. – It can't be that you drove all these miles and leave here feeling even worse. I'll introduce you to someone who doesn't care about what you've achieved in life.