Mantis

9. Warning

When I walked in, the lights were already off. Not surprising. It was almost two in the morning after all, but there was someone who wasn't sleeping. From the darkness, my mother's voice reached me, and she flicked on the lamp.

- Where were you? - she asked, leaning out from the armchair in the corner of the room. - I was worried about you.

I looked at her uncertainly, wondering if I had heard correctly. She had never asked me where I was going or where I had been. Since I turned eighteen, she hadn't asked me even once, and now she wanted to know? She was worried?

It's not like we were particularly close. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, the most fitting description of my mother was that she wasn't there.

A young woman who became a mother at just twenty years old – so she didn't even have time to pursue her career – quickly seized the opportunity to escape from the monotonous domestic life and the exceedingly demanding, almost ten years older husband. Nothing stood in her way to leave two slightly grown-up daughters under his watchful eye.

Now, maybe out of a sense of parental duty, or maybe simply out of maternal love, which had been hidden somewhere within her until now, and which she finally matured into, she behaved as if she wanted to make up for those years when we didn't see her for several months in a row. Personally, I didn't feel like I needed her now, but I didn't want to take away the joy of being a mom from her, even just a few days a month, since she so desperately wanted to finally be one. I even understood her. I would have run away from this circus earlier if I had the chance.

- I was with Victor - I replied in an indifferent tone, hanging my wet jacket on the rack.

- For so long?

- You didn't have to wait - I muttered, taking off my sneakers.

- And still, I couldn't fall asleep. What are you wearing?

- I still couldn't fall asleep. What are you wearing?

I looked up from tying my shoelaces and met her vigilant gaze, assessing my silhouette from head to toe.

I glanced at the clothes from Victor's trunk.

- I got wet - I replied, shrugging lightly. - Wik lent me some clothes. What's wrong? - I asked because she was looking at me somewhat strangely.

- Are you sure you know what you're doing? - she asked.

- I was planning to take a shower - I replied casually, pretending not to hear that specific note in her voice that seemed to say. - We need to have a serious talk.

- That's not what I meant. - Mom snapped.

I looked at her beautiful face, which resembled a more mature version of my older sister, perhaps slightly rounder.

- What then? - I asked in the most patient tone I could muster, fixing her with an expectant gaze.

Mom adjusted herself in the armchair and looked at me very seriously.

- Don't get me wrong, dear - she began cautiously. - Maybe this Victor has something you like, I don't know him well... I absolutely don't want to tell you what to do, but I made a big mistake once too. Strong, power-hungry boys aren't any better than those who are polite and gentle. - She looked at me significantly, so I had no doubt she was talking about her husband, my father, who was as delicate and subtle as an elephant in a china shop. - I just think it's not worth jeopardizing your relationship with a nice and good boy like Alex for a moment of fun with Wiktor.

She looked at me very meaningfully, and I responded with a good-natured smile.

- Mom, Victor is just a friend. We reminisced about old times and that's it.

- And in those old times, what were you to each other? - Mom relentlessly scanned me with a vigilant gaze. - Julia said you were close. Didn't it occur to you that he might want to taste the adult you? You know what they say... Old flame...

- Mom, please - I interrupted her before she said something that would just amuse me. - What love? He's just a friend. He knows perfectly well where the boundaries of our relationship lie, and his ticket to his bed is booked until the new year. Everything is under control. Not every male-female relationship ends up in bed.

Before I went to my bedroom, I sent her a good-natured smile. Just now she had gathered herself for some good advice. Now that I was already an adult and had gone through the stage of experiments. I didn't want to dampen her parental enthusiasm, since she had finally found joy in it, but she had no idea who the men in my life were and who was Victor, and who was Alex.