Mantis

16. A night together

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark. Victor was lying next to me, just as he was when I fell asleep, but he wasn't asleep. I felt his hand traveling down my back, lower and lower, until it reached the boundary of my buttocks.

I froze. Victor did too, and I realized that I had stopped breathing.

– Paula? – he said, leaning over me. – Paulina, are you asleep?

I didn't respond. I didn't even move because although I technically knew what I should do, I couldn't bring myself to make any movement. I just started breathing slowly, making sure not to pant like a locomotive, and waited for it to just stop.

For a moment, Victor didn't move, and then he slowly returned to his previous position, his hand lazily trailing back up my back, stopping at the fabric boundary of my tracksuit top. He lingered for a while, his fingers tracing the thin material, before sliding them down until he encountered the barrier of the waistband. He hesitated for a moment, touching the skin at the edge of the fabric, then slowly slipped his hand under the elastic and began to move towards my thighs.

My foolish heart raced faster, which couldn't escape his notice, but I still lay there motionless, focused on breathing as slowly as possible and thus slowing down my heart that beat like crazy. I didn't know what, but something held me back from reacting.

– If you wanted to score, you should have gone to a brothel – I muttered finally into the pillow, not even lifting my head to avoid hitting him with my fists. – It would have been easier.

Victor halted the movement of his fingers, but didn't withdraw his hand.

– You're not asleep – he murmured, clearly pleased. – I was hoping you'd wake up.

He slowly slid his hand between my thighs, and my muscles completely refused to cooperate with my brain. He found his way to my pussy and began to move his finger up and down slowly and leisurely, and I felt like simultaneously hitting him, moaning, and feeling his fingers there as long as possible.

It was strange, but I was torn and didn't quite know what I wanted to do or if I should interrupt him at all because what he was doing felt good, but on the other hand, it was painfully wrong.

– Stop – I groaned finally, pulling myself together and trying to bring my lazy thoughts focused on prolonging this little pleasure to order. I had to get a grip on myself. They were just hands, for heaven's sake.

I turned my head towards him, squeezing my thighs together as tightly as possible, and looked at him, trying to appear completely unflustered, which naturally completely contradicted the state of my inner mind, where there was an uneven battle between what was pleasant and what was right.

– Why? – asked Victor slightly surprised, spreading my thighs apart again and continuing to wander his fingers around my clit, effectively distracting me. – Don't you like it? I heard your heart. It was beating loudly and very fast.

– It's not about that – I snapped impatiently.