An Appearance Doesn't Define Me

Chapter 15: Fred Trauma Part 1

Silverpaw's PoV
It was a lovely summer's day. Well I don't know what that means but it sounds pretty. I sit on the soft grass and watch as these green things flow by in the wind. I think mother called them leaves. My sisters play fight as my mother watches from the door. One of my sisters barrelled into me knocking me into the grass.

"Hey!" I squeak. My sisters are more rougher than me. I don't like to join in their play.

"Come join us. You're being boring," Ruby complains.

"No thank you," I say. I stand up and shake off. I trott over to our mother in hopes she will clean me up.

"Why don't you join your sisters," She asks as I plop down beside her.

"I don't want to!" I protest. This happens all the time. They just can't understand that no means no.

Ruby was gone. We tried searching for her everywhere but she was nowhere to be found. I hope she is okay. Mother is way overprotective over us now. I don't understand what's happening. Emerald tried asking but she just distracted us with something else. My other sisters moved on, but I..I kept thinking about worrying for what's to come.

Emerald is gone now. It's just me and Jade left. Jade started to act strange. She's meaner to me and mother. She tried hurting our housefolk the other day. My mother just thinks she's scared. That's why she's acting out.

I woke up to the hurt mewls of my mother. I stretch before making my way out of our nest. The first thing I see is the wriggly scratchers pick up Jade. She hisses and tries to break the grip. I thought that the wriggly scratchers were nice. Is this what happened to the others? Ru... Eal... I forgot their names. I want to wail in distress at my forgetfulness but I'm distracted by my mother nugging me back into the comfort of the nest.

I was curled up with my mother as I usually did at night. I was the last kit left as my siblings were taken away from us. I miss them. I wish I took part in their outside activities, I wish, I wish I could remember their names. I feel horrible. They are my siblings. I should remember these things. I'm afraid to tell my mother though. What if she scolds me? I don't want her to think badly of me.

I don't remember what happened the day I was taken away from my mother. I think I was asleep. I'm in a new place now. It's nice. I was just dumped on the floor and left. I tried following my new housefolk but they left and slammed a door shut in front of me, nearly trapping my whiskers in the process. I whine and scratch at the door. They left me with no food. Nothing. At. All.

"Well, look what we have here," A new voice says behind me. I'm quick to turn around to see the new someone. It's someone just like me. He isn't as fluffy as me but he's still pretty.

"OOOOHHH a new friend," I say and I barrel straight toward him. He moves swiftly out of my way.

"Hmmm, sure," He says, smoothing down the piece of fur that was sticking out from his quick movement.

Water was falling out of the sky. I looked amazed as I watched the water splat against the window. Fred has got to see this.

"Woah! Fred come see, there's water falling from the sky!" I say amazed. Fred grumbles from his spot on the sofa. He is such a grump sometimes.
.................

".....Weird-Leg?......happens all the time."

"Silverpaw,"

"......what is it?" …….. He's annoyed.

"Rain......."

"Silverpaw!"

Fluffy tail.
Ears.
Vet's, Cut.
Vet's. Enemies.

Don't touch the rain....

"Silverpaw!" A loud shout jolts me awake. Something tight is wrapped around my paw. I crack my eyes open and see Cinnamonpaw looking at me with wide eyes. It's still slightly dark out, so I can barely make her out.

"I'm awake, I'm awake. What the hell are you waking me up this early for," I grumble. She looks at me weirdly before responding.

"Dawn patrol, remember, let's go before we get into trouble," She says. I grumble again, before trying to detach my old collar from my paw. I will try to speak to Ivypaw later. This is the 5th nightmare i've had from this stupid thing. I should've never taken it in the first place. I should be trying to lose my memories of my old life so I can prove I'm more than a stupid little kittypet who's no better than a kit.
No, Sapph- Silverpaw. I need to be better than this. I mustn't let him get to me.

"Are you coming? Or are you going to keep staring at your paw like it's offended you?" Cinnamonpaw asks, impatiently.

"Yes. I'm coming," I snap. I stand up quickly and brush past her leaving her gaze at me open-mouthed. She catches up with me quickly.

"What's got your tail in a knot?" She asks, as we walk to the small group at the entrance of camp. As we get closer I start to recognise some cats. Splashclaw, Thymeclaw (Cinnamonpaw's mentor), Some cat I don't recognise and Nuttooth. I don't think I can deal with his teasing today. But then again..... It might cheer me up.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I say.

"A real warrior isn't tardy only kittypets are," Splashclaw scolds.

"Just because you grew up with rogues doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."

I probably shouldn't have said that.
Everyone looks at me in shock.
Crickets....

"I think we should go before the rest of the clan wakes up don't you think?" Nuttooth says. The others grumble in agreement. We start to head out of camp and I stay behind a little. Nuttooth comes up beside me.
" 'Morning sunshine, though your not very sunny today," He says.
"What did I say about calling me sunshine?" I ask
"To do it more often?" He asks innocently, tilting his head at me. I sigh and shake my head and walk away.

Time skip

I caught up to Splashclaw to apologise to her. I shouldn't have spoken to my mentor like that. To be a proper warrior and earn my place I need to learn to respect those above me.
"Hey, Splashclaw. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I shouldn't have said it," I say.
"Thank you, but if you do it again I will..." I don't get to hear the rest of her sentence as something comes barreling into me. Before I can react, they speak.
"I missed you, where have you been precious," and then I knew instantly that this wasn't something I can escape from.