Alaska pov:
Thick drops of sweat roller down my forehead, arms and legs, a tight rope of fear having wrapped around my throat as i jolted awake- gasping desperately for air.
Fuck. Another night. . No, memory. It feels hellish though.
Having to constantly re-live memory's of a past you'll never get back. . Nevermind. I don't feel like crying at the moment. Yet I just can't stop thinking. . .
"Ugghhh. . ."
A all too famamilar sensation of hot tears dripping down my already tear stained face had restarted its cycle just as someone knocked on my door.
The thick blanket of sorrow, betrayal and anger seemed much more comfortable to lie down in than answering my room door, biting my lounge to quieten down the choked sobs that forced they're way out of my mouth.
"Brother, I know you're awake. . Please, come out."
Hawaii's soft, ignorant voice called out to me.
"It's been months since we've had a proper conversation. . Papa and the others are worried too."
Her voice had began to get irritating, and my throat didnt really feel like shouting.
"Please, go away. ."
I'd winced at how shakey and feeble my voice sounded, my scowl deepening.
"But, Alas-"
"FCK OFF!"
My sudden shout sent chills over me, but I felt like my lungs might give out any second,
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I dont want to see anyone, just leave!"
Satisfying, but eerie silence was left behind.
After finally accepting I wouldn't get any more sleep after that night- ugh, memory, I had resisted the urge to throw myself onto the floor and shakily swung my legs over the bed.
My brain screeched in protest to any more movement as my ears immediately started to ring, small, sharp gans of pain piercing through my skin with each movement.
Slow, steady breaths. . I tried to relax, leaning against the wall as I clenched and unclenched my fists with each breath until the pain started to fade away.
My fingers were aching from all of the tensing and squeezing, but I managed it.
It took me a while, but slowly my heart rate returned to normal. The ringing went away gradually.
As soon as I could see without feeling like my head was going to explode, I let out a deep sigh, My eyes closed tight as I forced my body into a standing position.
I had to lean on the mirror to not instantly collapse, forcefully trying to blink away the dark spots that started to cloud my vision.
Snarling at the exhausted ghost of a man staring back at me- black circles under his bloodshot blue eyes, pale lips parted. God, I looked worse than yesterday, probably cause I was up until around 7,30 this morning but oh well.
The mirror frame groaned under my weight as I shifted slightly, futilely attempting to rub the fatigue of my eyes to unblur the blinking LED lights of my alarm clock. 08:18 am. Less than an hour of sleep for me then.
Pushing past my exhaustion, I stumbled across the dark room to a small storage cupboard, grabbing a few scented candles and a lighter before heading to the private bathroom connected to my room and flicking on the light.
I can't take the deafening buzz of the light down my ears, turning of the faucet on to try and drown out the noise aswell as wash my face- ignoring how the scalding hot water burned my face.
