Fanboy // Luke Hemmings

Fifteen

Evan

Luke held my hand tightly the entire flight back to whatever city he was performing in.

He took me to the hotel, shades over his eyes and his collar turned up.

"I can't let the fans see me, they all think I'm sick," he told me again.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that there were leaked airport photos of him and that everybody knew that he was lying.

He snuck me into the hotel and got me a room a floor above the other boys.

"I need you to stay in here until I come back, okay?" He said, sitting me down on the bed. "I love you. Watch some Spongebob or something."

I giggled. "I love SpongeBob."

His nose crinkled when he laughed. "You're so cute. I'm just going to be in the hotel room downstairs. If you here yelling and things being thrown, do not come down, okay? I'm dead serious."

"I promise," I said honestly, "the flight tired me out, I think I'm gonna go to sleep."

"Goodnight babe," Luke whispered, closing the door, enveloping me in darkness.

Luke

I shut the door behind me, afraid to leave Evan alone by himself. I mean, he had just gone through a huge trauma.

But me? I was most certainly screwed. I left the concert to fly across the country. Lied to the fans and told them I was sick. Told them I was straight.

I'm not saying that Evan ruined my life because he didn't. He made it better. He made me discover myself, as cheesy as it sounds.

With this in mind, I knocked on the hotel room door.

I heard shuffling and movement behind it and Michael's voice muttering, "the fans better have not found the fucking room," and then I assumed he looked through the peephole because he said, "oh fucking hell it's Luke."

The door swung open to reveal a beet-red Michael and Calum with a nervous Ashton behind them.

"Where.... The fuck were you," Michael said through gritted teeth, his hands balled so tightly at his sides his knuckles were white.

"That's none of your business," I said, my voice cracking.

"We had to postpone the fucking concert Luke! You're the lead singer and you're telling me it's not our business? Fuck you."

I held my head in shame, trying to hold back tears.

Ashton stepped forwards and grabbed my arm. "Luke," he said softly. "Can you please tell us what happened?"

I sat on the bed and stared down at my converse. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"We're waiting," Michael said sourly.

"Evan came out to his Mom and she kicked him out."

"Doesn't he have an older brother? Couldn't he have picked him up?" Calum said skeptically.

"He was busy and couldn't catch a flight," I said.

"But you could? Bullshit," Michael snorted.

Ashton elbowed him hard in the ribs and urged me to keep going.

"And his friend was on a trip and couldn't come to get him, so I was the only option. Plus I love him and I couldn't leave him," I said softly.

Michael's shoulders relaxed slightly. "We'll talk about this later. Now we have to do the show. The fans are gonna be pissed, most likely."

"Let's just do the show."

******

The show was absolutely awful.

I messed up my guitar solo three times, my voice cracked ten times, (I counted), Michael bumped into Calum twice, and me three times, and I forgot the words to End Up Here. It had to be the worst performance of our lives, and that includes the Take Me Home tour when we just stood in our places and sang.

"Glad that's over," I muttered, dumping my guitar and collapsing onto the dressing room couch.

"Yeah, aren't you glad?" Michael snarled. "Check Twitter."

I hesitantly pulled out my phone and checked Twitter.

@Lukeeys_gurl: that was the worst performance ever.... 5sos, wyd? #tbfh

@Mashtonspizza: I feel sorry for the fans who actually went to that concert oh my god #trainwreck

@Calumslittleangel: the teenage dirtbag cover was better than that #omf

@A_sliceofash: Luke wasn't even fucking sick I saw the pictures of him at the airport, definitely not photoshopped, ugh

@Puremalum: and Luke is gay and not coming out to us... Get your head screwed on straight

I shut off my phone, feeling nauseous.

"You see?" Michael said. "I told you. Everybody is freaking out and there's nothing you can do."

"Actually, there is something I can do," I said.

"Which is what?"

"I can come out."

"What?" Ashton slipped on the bathroom floor and I heard a crash.

"You heard me, I'll come out. Tell the fans what the hell is going on."

Michael took a breath. "I'm not so sure the fans will be okay with you coming out Luke."

"They'll just have to learn that I am in fact gay."

Michael clapped a grim hand on my shoulder and sauntered out. "Good luck buddy."

I decided to come out via keek.

"Hi guys it's Luke," I said nervously into the camera, scratching the back of my neck. "And I have some important news. A lot of you have been questioning my sexuality. Well I'm here to confirm that I'm gay. Yeah, I know right? And no, I'm not dating anyone at the moment but rumors have been flying about and I'm trying to put a stop to some. I'm sorry if you're disappointed that I'm gay or whatever but I hope you guys still love us as a band, and me as a person. Thank you so much guys, I love you and I'll see you later."

With a grimace, I posted the keek and went to Twitter to wait for the damage.

@Larry_luber: the boys posted a keek.... They never post keeks wtf

@Stargazemgc: I'm freaking out I don't want to watch it fuck

@Hit_that_whip_calum: what the hell is going on with this fandom goodbye world

I bit my lip and waited for the reactions to start pouring in.

@Lashtons_cakeness: OH MY FUCKING GOD OHNDNSKZ DI CANT BRATHA EGEHE

@lrhiscool: MY LOVE HOLY SHIT LUKE IS GAY WH AT THE FUCKIMG FUCK

@Mashmyassash: IM SOBBING MY BABY WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE GAY

I quickly typed a tweet:

@Luke5sos: watch the recent keek if you haven't! I love you all loads, you're the best fans ever and thanks for the support! <3

@Kangaroo_Calpal: why does Luke have to be gay I'm :((

@Liam_andluke: fuck you if you're putting luke down for being gay smh

@Kinky_larrykins: why is luke gay smh no fans even have a chance tf

I put my phone down on the shiny hotel room desk carefully, feeling sick to my stomach.

Maybe coming out wasn't a good idea after all.