Baby, just say ... yes? | Landoscar <3

Down Bad

After we, or rather I, finished in the bathroom Lando pulled me back to the dancefloor but with a stopover at the bar. Now I have a colourful cocktail in my hand that I don’t want and watch Lando dance again. The more I drank the more I wanted to dance with him, moving my hips against his in the same rythm. But with all the people in the room this was impossible, there wouldn’t be a straight explanation we could give.

Eventually, I stepped closer to him despite of the risk. Not touching,I followed every of his movements with my eyes and copied them. I felt his eyes on me too that made me warm. The room became smaller and I forgot all other people when his fingers touched mine. First I thought it was by accident but then our fingers interlocked. Never have I felt so connected to him. Looking into his smiling face I wondered how somebody could not love him. I also wondered what he saw in me …

His thumb softly stroked the back of my hand when Alex and Logan came to us and as soon as Lando saw them he dropped my hand. I didn’t blame him, it was nothing personal (I hoped), but I felt a little sting anyway. The moment was clearly over.

"Hey Lando, Carlos was looking for you. He is upstairs, I think“, Alex said. Lando looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, I’ll just go and look for him. But I’ll be back soon.“ I must have looked really disappointed because he leaned to me and whispered in my ear "I promise“ while squeezing my arm shortly. He seemed genuine so I nodded.

"Alex, Logan, look after Oscar while I'm gone“, Lando said and went away. I didn’t know if I should feel offended or flattered that he tells people to watch over me and keep me company. I hope he doesn’t think I am such a loner that I can’t find people on my own for that. And I wanted to speak with Logan anyway.

"Hey great race today, nearly points huh?“

"Yeah and nearly a podium for you. We can nearly show off“, he said and we both laughed, the alcohol making it even funnier.

"Maybe you can show off tomorrow in our paddle match“, Alex said smiling and added "but I’ll warn you, our team may not have the best car but it has the best paddle players.“ He gave Logan a smile too. They look more like friends now than just teammates which makes me happy for Logan, I just hope I wasn’t too distant to be replaced as his friend. I really look forward now to the match tomorrow.

That reminds me of Lando again, where is my paddle partner? It’s been a while since he is gone. Alex, Logan and I went to the bar again in the meantime and talked for a bit. But now I want to find him so I make my way through the crowd and go upstairs. I was about to go through a corridor when I heard familiar voices just in the room next to me.

"You and Oscar seem close lately, did you do it, or rather did you do him?“, Carlos said giggling. "Ha, of course, was easier than I thought“, Lando said very smug. My blood froze. What does that mean?

Carlos spoke again "Shit, I owe you a tenner. That is unexpected, he seems so shy.“ I needed a moment to understand what was going on. Lando bet he could get me? Like I'm not a human but something to just use?

"He is. And sometimes so boring too. But now I can buy me another cocktail so it was worth it.“ The pain spread through my whole body now. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, I never can. Instead I tried to get away as quick as possible. Turning around I still heard Carlos saying "How was it?“ I felt sick and ran the stairs down. I stumbled through the crowd and outside the house.

My only thought was what a fucking fool I am. The feeling that I couldn’t trust him was always there. I mean, how could it not when I don’t really know him because he doesn’t want to spend time with me? Why would he when I am such a boring person? This fact hurts even more than the fact that he used me. But it shouldn’t hurt because I already knew it, everybody in the media says it, it’s no wonder that he thinks so too. Apparently I have no other choice than to bring my boring ass to the hotel and to bed.

I wish I could forget this night and never see him again is my last thought before I fall asleep.

My first thought in the morning, when I see all his messages, is that I have to see him in half an hour. Shit, the paddle game.

Yesterday I just felt so sad and humiliated but now as I see his fake-worried and fake-friendly messages like "where are you, I miss you. U already gone?“ I want to break my phone. He also wrote that he is looking forward to the match today.

He wants a match? He gets a match. I will destroy him.