Baby, just say ... yes? | Landoscar <3

Bad Blood

The summer break was a big hole of nothing, a little mandatory work-out here and there but otherwise numbness. Except when I laid awake in bed thinking about him - his eyes, his laugh, his touch - then it was a sharp pain in my chest. Fortunately these thoughts only haunted me at night and when I finally fell asleep I could see him in my dreams, happy again, not like when I broke up.

And it's strange because I saw how I hurt him and I feel sorry but at the same time I'm incredibly mad at him too. I sacrificed so much but he isn't brave enough to sacrifice anything at all. When I said I didn't want to be a secret and I don't have time anymore, he just accepted it. He didn't call nor did he text and when I would've told him about the blackmailer he would be the one to break up in an instant, not because he is worried about me but himself. So maybe it's better this way even if it feels wrong every single second.

Logan must have sensed that I'm extremly miserable at the moment so he called me - already the second time this week. "Hi Oscar, how are you?"

"Hi Logan, yeah ... fine. How are you?", I tried to sound neutral because I can't really tell him what is going on. "I'm good. Visiting my parents right now but next week I'm back at the Williams factory for some tests and PR stuff and I thought, if you'll be in the UK too, we could meet up then, do something fun. What do you think?"

I was about to find an excuse but then I thought about it. I guess it wouldn't hurt and when you feel like shit already there is not much to make things worse. "Yeah I stay here anyways because I also have to go to our factory. Afterwards I could drive to you, if that's okay. I'll write when exactly."

"Sounds good, okay then see you next week. Bye." And with that I had at least one thing to look forward after having to meet Lando again.

One week later

"So Oscar, the second half of the season is just around the corner. And speaking of corners, what happened with you and Carlos in turn one in Spa? Some say inexperience, was it? And will you be able to improve on these things now after the break?"

I shouldn't be taken aback by the directness and rudeness of these interview questions anymore but unfortunately I still am. Sitting next to Lando but trying not be aware of his presence I thought about an answer. "I wouldn't say it was because of inexperience, race incidents happen, even if we try to avoid them. But there are definitely some things for me to improve on. It was a very instructive first half of my first formula one season and I took a lot from it."

"See, he is such a nerd that Carlos just had enough and turned into him", Lando said and then grined at me. It looked dangerous. "Ah right, coming to you Lando, how is working with your new teammate for you?", the interviewer asked now.

"Mmh, very professional, isn't it?" he looked at me with an indefinable expression on his face. I was to stunned to speak, afraid of what else he would say, so I just nodded. „I mean, look at him, he is born for this job so why would anything else matter to him. It's always just a ... pleasure", maybe the others in the room didn't hear the sarcasm in the last bit but I did. And how could he say nothing mattered to me when he was the one that mattered most to me. It was him who cared so much about what everyone would think of him.

"And what about you Oscar, how was working with Lando so far?", the interviewer interrupted my thoughts. I tried not to show how furious I was, "Well, Lando is a bit longer here than I am so it was ... great to learn some things from him. Even if we don't have much in common, we ...get along."

"Yeah, except when he sees his buddy Logan and leaves me standing alone", Lando throws in, giving me a daring look.

"I guess you weren't standing alone for long when I think about all your many friends here. I'm sure Carlos kept you great company whilst making some fun plans with you." He knew exactly what I meant but didn't show, just laughed like it was a joke.

"Let's come to the next question. How would you describe each other in three words and why?" "Ha that's easy. Slow because I can have a good look at him in my rear mirror - just joking of course, unbothered, by so many things except driving and above all extremly boring because I had an Aussie teammate before, they're all the same."

I tried to laugh at his "joke" so it wouldn't look suspicious but I knew what he wanted to tell me with this and it hurt. He stared at me to see if he reached his goal - causing the same pain I caused him - so I turned away, giving the interviewer a shy laugh, and answered the question so I could finally leave from here.

"Thanks mate, very nice. I would say Lando is silly, proof just given, ambitious because I see everyday what he wants to achieve with the team but I would also say he is unlucky, always just a tiny step away from what could have been ..."

I know it was cruel. He told me about the pressure of getting a first win when everybody expects that from him after so many opportunities where it could have been him on the top step of the podium. But he did the same to me, calling me boring although he said it one time before already so he knew what it meant for me. I guess Lando Nowins and the boring Oscar Piastri don't make such a great couple afterall.

" ... Of course, now that I'm in f1 and in the same team as him I want to achieve these things too and I think McLaren is a great team for that. I'm optimistic that we can show a bit more in the second half of the season because we have the upgrades, we tested them and understand them very well. Silverstone and Hungary were just a taste of what is possible now."

"That sounds promising. Thanks for the interview guys." The whole crew left the room so it was just Lando and me still there. Saying that every particle between us was tense would be an understatement, unfortunately I couldn't stand up and go for some reason. Still angry and hurt I turned to look at him but it all disappeared when I saw a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Lan, I'm - ", I didn't get to finish my sentence because he stormed out. What a promising rest of the season I thought.