Baby, just say ... yes? | Landoscar <3

mirrorball

I try to hold on to the good feeling but I can’t. There are too many thoughts, not just about Lando, it’s also the race tomorrow which doesn’t let me think clear. I bet a lot of people would be surprised that I am this worried.

I hear it everywhere nowadays: "the new young australien driver, he is so chill in his first season of formula 1“ or the meaner version of it "It seems it all doesn’t impress him much, is he already this arrogant or does he simply not care?“ They all think they can watch an interview, a YouTube challenge or some other media thing of you and truly know who you are. And it doesn’t matter how many times you have proved that you take this sport seriously, that you have won the f2 championship and other titels before, they take one moment of an interview and judge you because they can.

I don’t want to be ungrateful or anything, I get mostly positive reviews but it’s the bad ones that haunt you. And they haunt me because I do care, very much. I know how I look in interviews but looking chill or even bored is better than insecure or nervous. It’s not always like this but often I very well use my straight face - my mask -  as a defence mechanism.

The pressure of this one moment of a wrong move, on or off track, that can destroy the dream of being a successful f1 driver, just doesn’t let go of me. It lingers and pushes my whole body down, worse than the G-force. And now, that I have to go on a stage and have to stand in front of a big crowd, I feel it too.

I try to tell myself that it's not important what others think about me but the mean, little, sarcastic voice in my head tells me that if that is true there would be no PR consultants on this earth like the one who gave us a briefing before our stage appearance now. But hey, I have a good Quali result, I show them that I am pleased with this, that I care.

Nonetheless, I’m stepping from one foot to the other and pressing my fingernails into the palms of my hands, which are cold but sweaty at the same time. "Oi Oscar, you’re making me nervous, just stand still“. I roll my eyes at Lando and look to the ground, searching for something to focus on. Then I feel a hand on my arm and one under my chin, lifting it up. "Hey chill, you won’t be alone on the stage, I am right by your side“, Lando said in a calming voice. First I feel exposed because no one ever recognizes how I really feel but then there is this warm feeling, not just due to his touch but also his words. He reassured me and I smile at him before we both go on stage.

In the end it wasn’t that bad. It was more like a little party (with a very big crowd) than a serious interview. I just tried to enjoy myself than being the "right" version of me for others but standing next to Lando it’s always easy to have fun. I got to shoot a T-Shirt gun which was really cool and I took a selfie with him in front of all the fans. I left a bit of space between us, partly because of professionalism, partly because I didn’t want to get more confused.

When Lando and I went backstage we talked a bit about the race tomorrow "So that’s the plan: right in the beginning you take Max out and I win“, he said jokingly. "Woah woah, I risk to take out myself when I crash into Max. Besides that, you are right next to him, would be easier for you and then I could win.“

"That’s a cute idea Oscar but firstly, what made you think you could win even then, you’ve got Charles in a Ferrari behind you, I got only you behind me …“, Lando giggles like a  child who just made a dirty joke, "and secondly what kind of driver are you when you can’t take somebody out without crashing your own car“

"Ah mhm … probably just a fair and truthful driver“, I say with freigned seriousness. "And besides that I think you underestimate my abilities but just for the theory, did you take some driver out yet and if so, how?“

"Oh Oscar, so truthful but so curious too“, he says and smiles at me. "Okay, I’ll tell you a secret …“, with that being said he leaned closer to me, grabbed my shoulder and whispered into my ear "I never took somebody out, I am just a good liar. Stop being so naive.“ The smile he gave me after that statement was as mischievous as ever and I laughed instinctively but something about it sent a chill down my spine. A good liar?

"Ah McLarens favourite couple, hello there“, I heard someone say behind us. The thick spanish accent made clear who it was. I, as well as Lando, turned around and saw not just Carlos but also Charles who probably would be the next to go on stage. After some short greetings we all talked about the Qualifying today but then Lando fell into an intense discussion with Charles, apparently about some twitch game. I wish I could be a part of those kind of activities with the other drivers. They do so many things like gaming, golfing, playing paddle and other things but it’s difficult to be involved in the group when they‘re all already friends. Maybe I should ask Logan some time to do these things, I think he needs a friend here just as me.

Lost in my thoughts I nearly overhear that Carlos asked me something. "Did you have fun with Lando“, he said while moving his eyebrows suggestivly. I find it odd but answer the question without a second thought, "Yeah, we were just on stage, the crowd is great. They love Lando.“ Carlos opened his mouth to say something but Lando spoke first. "Hey Oscar, we should head back to the hotel now, get some beauty sleep for tomorrow.“ Still a bit confused I agree and we go back to our drivers rooms where we change.

Just as I was about to go to the parking lot where my rental car is standing, Lando asked me to drive with him to the hotel and that he would drive me here in the morning too. He said that would be the best for the environment, an ironic thought for an f1 driver, but I agreed again and got into his car.

I was looking out the window when I got a text message from Logan. It said that Alex and he would do a paddle match on Monday and that I could play with them if I’d still be here. "Who are you texting with?“, Lando asks typically curious and knowing no boundaries. But the paddle thing is neither a secret nor of any importance, even though I am very happy that Logan asked me, so I just tell him. "That sounds fun, ask them if I can play too, we could be a team against the Williams‘.

I am baffled but even more thrilled, it feels like getting popular in highschool. But I try to remind myself that it’s just casual for Lando. The next day he will go back to his older and closer friends, forgetting about me.

But could he ever forget that he kissed me?