°•○♡ poetry ♡○•°

Six years

May 3, 2024

♡♡♡

"6 years worth of a relationship gone down the drain,
6 years you were there for me before you up and left me with so much pain,
6 years I can never get back to tell you how much you meant to me,
6 years before the flames ignited into something that could never be.

I hated a lot of people, struggled to make friends,
But you were the one whom I didn't expect to be with in the end,
You were my best friend- what happened to us?
What happened to friends forever and getting my name wrong in my Christmas card?
What happened to laughing together like the crazy school girls we were?
What happened to your goofy smile before it disappeared into thin air?

I wanted to blame myself for the reason you left me,
Cried so hard that I had no tears left as I slowly faded to sleep,
What hurt more is that you would ignore my entire existence as you acted like everything was fine,
We all acted as if it were but words were nothing compared to the silent cries,
You acted and talked to others like everything was normal,
Except it wasn't- because every time I saw you, I wanted to hide away and curl up into something small,
Hide away so I could forget that these past few days had even happened at all.

Was I not a good friend? If so- I'm sorry- I really truly am,
I would have tried more, I would have tried to do more than I can,
And even then, it still wouldn't account for everything you did for me,
You were my shoulder to cry on and the goofiest person I could ever hope to meet,
I'm just sorry I couldn't be the friend that you deserved because you deserved so much more,
So much more than our friendship had to offer to make your heart feel whole.

I just don't understand why it had to come down to this,
Why you had to hide your emotions that you thought would cause a mess,
It hurt whenever I saw you cry,
But it would hurt more when you never told me the reason why,
I'd never get a straight answer, the most I would get was, 'I'm fine',
Why couldn't you just tell me the reason why?

Was it that hard that it would kill you to try?
What were you so afraid of that made your emotions run and hide?
And to think- that this wasn't even the worst part,
It was the words you said that had broken my heart,
How was I not there for you when you were the one to disappear?
Disappear when your emotions got too much to handle that you didn't want to come to your best friend as you shed your tears.

You were right, I was never there,
But you have to realise that you were the person to drag yourself away from here,
Now you've lost your best friend, the only person who you thought was meant to care,
Because of your actions now this is simply the price you have to pay,
Because you were the cause that drove our friendship away.

6 years, we were strangers who became best friends,
6 years we said that we would stay together until the end,
6 years feels like a lifetime ago,
6 years... But now you're gone... and you're the one who's been left... all... alone."

♡♡♡

Dedicated to the one person who had been there at the start but couldn't make it to the finish line.