°•○♡ poetry ♡○•°

Copy and Paste

June 23, 2024

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"You were a good friend to me, if not- the best,
Listening to my cries and rants about my life's mess.

How great to me you were,
Almost too good to be true,
Friends forever we sweared,
Now I wish it hadn't been you.

It saddens me to think,
What a horrible and wretched friend I am,
How could I possibly grow to hate-
The only true person that could see my anger and withstand.

To comfort me when things didn't go as planned,
To see my fears and still care for me all the same,
Yet at the end of the day- I never told her how I felt,
No matter how hard I tried to hide the thought that I could be easily replaced.

Not in the sense that she would find a new friend and call her the best,
No- I mean that people would look at us and wonder if we were sisters, that kind of sense,
Questioning with a long hard stare as if they were taking a test,
Well let me tell you the answer because quite frankly, my heart can't take anymore while you try and figure out which of the two is best.

We're not the same person,
Never were in fact,
It didn't bother me at first,
It was cute when we stuck together with our hearts intact,
But then things started to change,
I don't know how to describe it,
Every time I try to find the right words- it doesn't seem to fit in this place.

People would compare us both and think we were twins,
As if we had the same minds and acted the same,
Sure appearance wise, you could mistaken us for cousins or even sisters,
But the thing is- You could remove one of us and absolutely nothing would change.

Instead of seeing us as individual people with different likes and qualities,
People would just mingle us together,
Not that it mattered much- nobody seemed to care about me,
Because that was the thing- some people did prefer one over the other.

Every friend that was mine- to her I would lose,
Every saying that I came up with- she overused,
Every single action of mine- overlooked,
Every word I said became like a boring book.

I hated the fact that we were almost the same,
Copy and pasted her into my own way,
Except she wasn't like me, never was,
People just linked us together and for that I don't know the cause.

Maybe it's because I spent too much time with her,
She adopted my personality and I got some traits of hers,
But I was still my own person,
Just lost amongst this world.

Do I have the right to feel like this wretched person?
After all she isn't entirely guilty,
It wasn't her fault,
But I just can't help this hate I've had that I've only just now began to see.

It wasn't her fault that whatever friend I had would ultimately become hers,
She just wanted to protect me from unwanted tears,
It wasn't her fault that she acted just like me,
Someone told me that it's because she loves me and to that I let it slide and pretended to be happy.

But maybe it was her fault,
She had the choice wether to interfere in my relationships or not,
The choice to be her own person or live in someone else's shadow while she rot,
The choice to entrap me and make me feel like I had no one else as she was the only person I got.

Go on, tell me I'm the monster which I already know I am,
But you don't know what's it's been like for me to live life the way I have,
With someone constantly following your every move until one day they've discovered their own path.

Your once friends now preferred her,
Your favourite subjects now nothing more,
Catchphrases you used to love to say now haunt your every memory as she took them from you,
And after all that, you still can't escape because remember? You swore."

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