Love amongst Essex

'Low' SZA

A/N: I know in most stories at parties a girl gets drugged, roofied, or raped in worst cases or at least S/A, but I wanted to refrain from that currently. I might explore that with Bella's character mixing with the girls later. How do you guys feel on abuse levels as spoiler this book gets darker the deeper you go in.

Bella's POV:

I made my way through the crowd once I spotted the boys. The second I reached them they noticed and a smile grew on both of their faces. Noah with his cheeky grin and Tommy with his soft smile that was so genuine. My boys, the men who have held the key to my heart for so long. They are my brothers, not by blood but by soul binding. One thing I have learned over the years about having a shitty father is when you drown in blood no one can see you to save you, but when you drown in water people will help. It taught me that when you were suffering due to family people would do nothing, but if it was a lover or friend even a stranger anyone would do something that wasn't vile. That word "vile" means a lot to me. It's odd but it does. Vile is how I describe my dad, vile is what I use for people who hit rock bottom and somehow broke the barrier of matter falling through suffocating in their own doing. Vile means that you are so far gone you can't be changed. Vile is when you have ultimately lost yourself.

When I reached the boys I sat on the armrest by Tommy. "Hey god dammmm we went half city half cowboy with those stands on your dress!" Noah said with a chuckle. Did he just call my tassels strands? Ugh such an idiot, I love him.

"Yeah changing it up? I've never seen this dress?" Tommy said raising a brow at me. But then smiled to reassure me it looked good. He would never lie, not Tommy's style, so it means the world to me. It also amazes me how we have gotten so close that a small gesture can speak a thousand words. He knows me, he knows how I can be insecure. He is my brother, The little secret is though, I'm older. He is my lil bro but he is offely protective and age never crossed his mind. The boys did the basic run down on people I dated, danced with, or hooked up with but never harassed them. If I didn't like something though they would do something without me asking. It was nice but scary at times when their temper broke and it would bring me back to my dad.

"I got this at a modeling gig last month... speaking of modeling I have a couple of companies lined up I'm thinking about... they all offered me a spot," I said looking down shyly. Yup, that was my job, modeling. For an insecure little girl, don't take me as a fool for it. I can put on an act like an actor when I hit the runway or there is a camera. My confidence is in front of a camera, not eyes.

"No well, Belly! You should for sure sign onto one, that could seriously help with your long-term plans!" Noah said optimistically. 'Long-term' is the word I have been hiding from since I ran away from home. Is it running away?

Tommy knew this and cut in, well he knew it without us speaking about it kind of. "Hey, Belly my drink is out care to join me to go get a new one?" He said with a smile and I nodded following close behind him in the crowd of people that swarmed around us.

I wondered where the girls were. Stop, that isn't your responsibility, they are with each other they can handle themselves. They have each other... Ugh thank god we are getting a drink I need a distraction.

"Hey, something on your mind?" Tommy said as he made one fo my regular drinks. Redbull ice and over 60% vodka, call me crazy but it gets me blasted. Why does he know me so well?

"Maybe... Can we talk later about it, I just wanna forget," I said with a soft smile taking the drink from Tommy, one of the two people I ever let serve me a drink.

I took a sip and savored it, knowing this was my escape. God, I am thinking like my dad is gross. No, this is not your outlet this is your occupier right? Right! I chugged the drink and Tommy looked shocked. "Can you make another please, I won't chug the next, promise," I said with my puppy dog face. He obliged making my drink and we made are way back to Noah who was in the same spot but chatting with some random girl.