Love amongst Essex

She's not stupid

Bella's POV:

I can't do this with Diana right now.

Too much is happening

Did Diana really slide under a stall in her dress?

"What's going on?" She asked me as she tried to shift her body against the wall

I pulled back and began to wipe my tears from my eyes and rub my makeup off my arms with toilet paper. Luckily for me, none is on my white dress.

"Bella....?" She said softly a bit confused

What's going on is everything is overwhelming and I hate the business world

What's going on is I think I can never escape my past

What's going on is I'm living a lie

What's going on is I'm drowning in my own life problems to the point I don't get affected anymore by things.

I don't care about the sexual assault and that's something no one understands.

The only people who understand me I pushed away...

Why? Because I was scared.

And it's not their problem

"The business world is overwhelming at times..." I told her with a chuckle as I already began to wipe the makeup off my face

"Business world?" She questioned

If only modeling was like it used to be...

"As a model, my life isn't just shoots, poses, and runways... I have certain contracts to uphold." I said with a small sigh, "Sometimes it just gets to me when it gets overwhelming, you know?" I said trying to play it off

The interesting thing is, is that what's overwhelming me isn't the business itself... It's just me. My life seems to be in shambles and I am holding myself back. But why?

Why...

"I see.... You and Rose?" She asked raising a brow

"Ah, Rose and I met years ago on a backstage to a runway, years later we met again, and well one thing led to another and we started an affair. I had a long-term boyfriend before that who died, and well that fucked me up so I kinda threw myself into substances and hookups for a long time.... Until I met Rose and everything changed. She put me on the map for models and helped me build my small empire. We continued our off-screen affair for a while until we broke it off when school started. I feared I was starting to lose sight of our lustful relationship and started to love her... I never told her that and not entirely sure why I told you but another long story shot I didn't want to love someone again. I didn't want to be hurt again. Cairo, my ex, we were dating when he died. So, it really fucked me up with my perception of love." I told her venting a bit already feeling bad, "When I lost control of my life at the party I wanted to let go, I wanted someone else in control for a bit. I wanted a breather, so I asked Rose to come get me... I ran from my problems... it's my thing." It told her with a chuckle as I stood up fixing my dress

She stood up doing the same, I could tell she was trying to come up with a good response

"I see... Rose is your escape. I get it... I met Rose years ago in Paris... We shared some lustful days until she cut it off, and then my family asked me to represent our company as an investor... Rose was the owner of the company my family wanted to invest in... I was salty and didn't invest which led to my family being disappointed in me, even more so now with how successful she is." Diana said as she exited the stall and went to the sink to wash her hands