Oops, My Boyfriend

第9章

I have a nickname, "Hermit Nineteen," because I'm actually quite a homebody. I once went a whole week without leaving the house. So during the Christmas break, I proudly nestled at home, eating, drinking, and chilling. Then I'd camp out online, waiting for Caleb to log on. He usually came online around 10:30 PM, which meant I only had three hours a day to virtually 'see' him.Even though I set his picture as my desktop and screensaver, it still wasn't enough. I felt like my longing for him was throwing my hormones out of balance. Sleepless, anxious, irritable, and easily angered. I wondered aloud if my menopause had arrived early. My sister scoffed, "Twenty years early? You're just frustrated because you're bored." My mom suggested, "Why don't you read some books? Don't just laze around while Caleb is studying hard at school."That made sense. I needed to enrich myself, to make Caleb proud... While munching on an apple, I picked up a copy of 'Think and Grow Rich'. Not sure if others do this too, but whenever I feel the need to motivate myself, I turn to this book, and thus the first chapter is extremely familiar to me.I complained to Caleb, "Why am I so boring, so aimless, so unambitious?" It was just after 9 PM, and Caleb had just returned from the lab, which made me feel even more guilty. He chuckled, "Your self-assessment is quite accurate." Even he agreed, which really depressed me, sending me into a deep self-reflection.He reassured, "Don't worry, it's better if you're unambitious. I'll take care of you." That cheered me up, and I saved that chat message as 'evidence' for the future. With my future seemingly secured, I contentedly continued my slug-like existence.On Christmas Eve, while the whole family gathered in the living room watching a popular family variety show, I was at my computer chatting with Caleb. It was the first time I'd ever skipped out on a family gathering for New Year's Eve. But really, how could that comedian's craggy face compare to my Caleb's handsome features?By the sixth day of the holiday, I had already bought a train ticket back to school. I even decisively skipped a class reunion for him.When Caleb picked me up, he pinched my cheek, "How have you managed to gain more weight in such a short time?" I sighed, my weight had been climbing steadily over the years, a relentless upward trend each fall and winter, then holding steady in spring and summer. But no matter how dissatisfied I was with my figure, I couldn't admit that to my boyfriend.I retorted, "You don't understand, this is called being voluptuous. According to college physical fitness standards, I score a hundred percent!" He hummed skeptically. I then pointed at his overgrown hair, "It's too long, let me cut it for you."He hugged me with a grin, "No, I was wrong, okay?" I earnestly replied, "I'm not seeking revenge, I genuinely have this skill!"He looked at me doubtfully. I boasted, "Do you know my nickname? Scissorhands Audrey!" It wasn't just talk—I really had experience. As a child, I was the designated hairdresser for the neighborhood dolls.I told Caleb, "There's an old saying, 'The player is confused, the concerned are chaotic.'" He sat silently, fiddling with a mirror in one hand and the scissors I had just put down in the other. He pointed the scissors at his head, "Is this the result of your 'chaos'?"I quickly snatched the scissors back, fearing he'd do something foolish. He looked up intently, "Were you in charge of shearing sheep in your past life? Oh no, wait, with those skills, you must have been tilling the fields. How else would I have ended up with this 'radish head'?"Faced with his accusations, I felt genuinely guilty—a handsome man turned into this by my hands... I handed back the scissors, meekly offering, "How about I let you cut my hair too?" He placed the scissors on the table, his lips curling into a cold smirk, "Who called you 'Scissorhands Audrey'?"I couldn't very well tell him it was self-proclaimed; he'd throw it right back at me. I asked, "What's up?" He replied, "Nothing. I just wanted to ask where that person's brain was." In the end, I asked him, "