Anything - Carl Grimes

iii. Pale as ghost

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Carmen didn't have to give blood anymore so she stayed in her room. She couldn't sleep because she was waiting for Otis to get back. She was always worried when someone left the farm and always waited for them.

She heard the front door open and she thought it might be just others coming in and out like they did the whole day but she decided to check it out anyway. She quietly left her room, not to wake up Matt who was sleeping on her bed, and walked downstairs. She peeked in the hallway, noticing Dottie crying. "Mom?" She walked in and Dottie put a hand over her face.

She noticed Shane was back but Otis was nowhere to be found. "Where's Otis?" Carmen whispered like she knew the answer but didn't want to. She saw Glenn, T-Dog, and Lori look down and then it was confirmed. Otis was dead. Carmen resisted the urge to glare at Shane. It ain't his fault, Carmen repeated in her head but it sounded so wrong.

Tears filled her eyes and everything was blurry. Even though her head was down, others noticed her trembling lip. "Carm-" Lori crouched down to comfort Carmen and put her hand on Carmen's arm but the little girl pushed her away. Carmen stomped up the stairs and went to her room. Even though she wanted to shut the door so hard that the whole house shook, she softly closed it because she wasn't allowed to.

She hated crying in front of the others. It made her feel weak and embarrassed. Dottie knew that and that was why she didn't immediately reach out and comfort her because Carmen hated it. Everyone knew that, so when she was sad or upset, they just left her alone. Carmen always said she hated it but she loved hugs, and comforting, she just didn't know how to express it or do it without feeling embarrassed for some reason.

Carmen slid down the door, pulling her legs to her chest and hiding her face in her knees. She started to cry but very quietly. Tears were just streaming down her face but she had one hand on her mouth so she wouldn't sob. But soon, she couldn't breathe because of how hard she was crying and her chest started to hurt.

She stood up and walked to her window, opening it widely. She sat on the wood beside it and stared into the field. Carmen felt bad for Carl who was now getting the surgery, but she thought how stupid it was Otis left with Shane. Otis was a good guy, a good husband, and good with kids and now, he sacrificed himself for some guy he didn't even know. Just a bunch of bullshit, Carmen thought.

...

The next morning, she walked downstairs to check if Carl was awake. She knocked on the door and walked in, seeing Lori and Carl. "Good morning." Lori smiled. "Carl, sweetie, this is Carmen. She donated her blood to help you."

"Hi, Carmen." He smiled weakly at her. Carmen still wasn't sure how Otis died. Maybe someone killed him or he tripped and fell. Or maybe Shane killed him. Carmen was now completely sure she didn't like Shane. Shane had that vibe like- like he couldn't give them any good. Plus he just cut all of his hair off and looked like cracked egg.

"Hey, you alright?" She asked, looking at the boy. He wasn't as pale as he was yesterday but he was still pretty pale. As a ghost. Carl just nodded with a smile, staring at the girl. "Do you need anything? Breakfast, water?"

"No, but thank you, Carmen." Lori nodded.

"No problem, Ma'am." Carmen sighed before leaving the room. She walked outside to help others with picking up rocks for Otis' grave when she heard some loud noises. She walked down the stairs, noticing it was an RV, car, and motorcycle. Carmen was leaning against the wooden fence as the people parked right outside their house.

Soon her family, Lori and Rick left the house to see who it was. Dottie stood next to Carmen, patting her hair. "How is he?" A man with a colorful hat was first to ask.