Delinquent's Crescendo

Chapter 20: All Her Fear

[Raden pov]

*I stood on stage and finished my performance in front of thousands of people. The whole auditorium was silent, so I was just waiting for a response from them: "Boo!" The entire room burst out with bloodcurdling boos; they hated my performance.

"Hmph... Raden, you wasted our time with this!?" Banchou spat

"I agree with Hajime; you really wasted everyone's time, and I can't believe that we trusted you to actually entertain us. You are a failure!" Riri laughed

"Failure..." I sigh with dejection, and my tears begin to flow involuntarily.

"I thought it was good. Good at boring me!" Kanade giggled

I noticed Ao-kun was asleep from the performance; they all hated it, and I let them down.

"We are no longer friends!" Banchou and Riri told me the two of them began to walk away. Kanade and Ao-kun disappeared with them, and I was alone. They turned their backs on me. The boos echoed in my head. They wouldn't stop. I looked down and saw my prop knife in front of me, so I picked it up and...*

I jolted up with a cold sweat dripping down my face, mixing with my tears. I had a bad dream, and that was all it was.

I picked up my phone and saw Banchou had texted me, as did Riri; they wanted to know when I wanted to do my practice performance.

*let's cancel...*

I sent that, and they immediately responded.

*You did that last time...* They both typed

I was going to type out a response, but I couldn't. They ended up saying they would be over later anyway. I don't want what I dreamed to come to pass, but they are so insistent.

I went into my bathroom, took a bath, and then got ready for the day since I have "stuff" to do. I felt awful sick to my stomach, but I usually do, so I had to just walk it off. I poured myself a glass of alcohol, but before I could sip, I stopped myself since it was too early to drink.

*I feel so sick.*

I rushed into the bathroom and opened the toilet, immediately vomiting into the bowl. I was crying yet again. I feel so much pain. I'm going to lose my friends. No, they already hate me.

I am a girl who always smokes, constantly drinks, and is always out of money, so I leech off my friends, always asking them for charity. I'm horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if they only want to watch my performance out of pity for me since I'm so pathetic.

*All of you are so talented, and I...*

I brushed my teeth again to get the bad taste out of my mouth, and then I began to pace around my place. My stomach growled, but I'm not hungry. I'm still too sick to eat food right now.

I should go to class, but I may be too sick to do so. So I really don't know if I should go...

I picked up my phone and looked at the time. Class doesn't start for a while. I got up early. "I woke those two up." I say it out loud, realizing that I probably annoyed you with my texts.

Without thinking, I ended up calling someone on my phone. I looked at the contact and saw that I had called Lui-senpai.

Flashback...

I looked ahead at Banchou and Kanade, who were chatting as they walked. They both looked so happy, and there was no place for me to really come into the conversation, so I'm just going to watch.

*my shoulder gets tapped*

"Ah!" I jump, seeing Lui-senpai behind me.

"Why are you so far back?"